Wonder Lust

I wonder about the time I said "I love you", granted I was joking but the look in your eyes. Said it all. It didn't need no confirmation, or the need to repeat it like an echo. It just said; I think I could love her too. And that's fine, cause I think I could love him too. We're so far in this magnitude of possibilities that neither one of us could even fathom it's progression. It has progressed in a wonder of expectations, although sometimes I feel suffocated. Like jealousy clouds the silence of our haunting past. Like the suspicions of maybe you'd be drunk enough, high enough to step out on me. Would I forgive you? Or would I walk away?
Told my friend about you and he said. You've never had a problem setting the record straight when it comes to these fellas. He's right. But my replay became, one can never foresee the matters of the heart, and I wish we've never went half public about our uprising. So many want to see us fail, with their prejudgments and assumptions. That it cast a spell on us so we feel the need to fulfill this "duty" to uphold some kind of illusion. It's been months, and I thought it barely would last the summer. We survived. We managed to keep it a secret from those who matter, to those if they had known would break worlds of hearts. And I don't want our happiness to inflict pain on others. It should be an inspiration. That our interaction of interracial commitment is purely out of love. Sadly one can never be too careful, no matter how hard or how innocent it may have started. I feel halfway guilty, he just feels tingly. I feel scared that one day I am not enough, that i no longer can satisfy his needs. Maybe I'm overthinking it but let's be realistic. We both have issues with trust, so how can we as a unit ride along these waves that comes crashing in? Without it further damaging potential species.