To The Boy/✔

Nineteen

“Hi Jamie.” I muttered walking over to our table at lunch and sat. He gave me a nod before looking me over, his eyes narrowed and his eyebrows pinched.

“You OK Rosaline?” I shrugged and took out my tea.

“We just had an argument last night. That’s it.” He hesitated before nodding, taking out his sandwich and unwrapped it.

“About?” I rose an eyebrow, a bit confused as of why he was furthering this conversation. He always left it just at the nod, there was nothing more.

“I just feel like he’s hiding something from me.” I shrugged and crossed my ankles, wrapping my sweat around me tighter because it was a bit cold today.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, he always has his reasons.”

‘Yeah but we’ve been together for almost four months, I know barely anything about his family or anything.”

“Who are you dating again?” I rose my eyebrows at the question. Did he really forget I was dating his best friend?

“Matthew.”

“Then why does it matter if he doesn’t talk about his family? Are you dating them?” I shook my head no and he sighed.

“Matthew just doesn’t like his family, that’s it. he believes they’re just stuck up dickheads that are afraid of living… And feeling. They are never on good terms just because Matthew believes you should go on adventures and go do live threatening things, he likes that adrenaline and he likes danger. His parents don’t, they’re a lot like you actually.”

“If I’m just like them and he hates them… Then why are we together?” He shrugged and took a drink of water.

“He saw that you were just like them, but like you were too young to be like that. He actually really hated to see you at first, for like a straight month he’d complain that you were probably going to die by the age of thirty because of suicide. That all you did wass go to the library, grab coffee and go to some floral shop downtown.” He paused before sighing.

“But then I remember one day he had come back, a big grin on his face and he talked about how nice you were and how you weren’t exactly like them. That you were willing to actually step outside of that box you live in a little bit. He had seen someone else in you and he wants that someone to come out.”

I had stayed quiet for the rest of lunch, I barely even ate, I didn’t even want to be here. He had hated me at first, hated that I was just like his parents. But then he had just decided to like me? Because he saw that I could be someone else?

That night I had finally caved in, I had gone to a party with him. I had done everything he had said that would be fun, I had broke every set of rule I had ever made for myself. Why? Because of that small box that I lived in. Because that small box was giving me claustrophobia and I was done suffocating.