Chris and his girlfriend, her name was Sophie, danced around me all day and were all lovey dovey. At least I felt like they did. I tried my best to ignore them and to ignore my feelings. I did have feelings for Chris. Strong ones. And the kiss confused me so badly.
I tried to distract myself with some music. I listened to Rammstein, one of my favorite bands. I didn't understand pretty much anything they sang but whatever.
After school I finally ran into Will and I was nervous as fuck. I had to tell him, he had a right to know.
I took a deep breath and walked up to him.
"Hey Will." I said with a shaky voice.
He looked over and smiled.
"Hey baby, what's up?"
"Well....I have to tell you something, can we please talk in private?"
Some of his friends who were standing with him exclaimed a suggesting "Oooh" and I sighed. If they only knew.
Will walked away with me. We walked down the street, into the direction of the old cemetery.
"What's so important?" He asked and gave me a questioning look.
"Well, something happened."
"What? Did you finally grow the balls to have sex with me?" He chuckled. It was cold. I now realized how much I hated his guts. I think I really was just in love with the fact that I had a boyfriend and wasn't alone.
I stopped walking and faced him.
"No. Yesterday I kissed someone else. And it felt good." I instantly regretted being so confident as his fist collided with my face.
"Fucking slut."
I shut my eyes tightly. I knew what was about to come. There was no point in fighting back.
He slapped me, punched me and kicked me. I fell to the ground and curled up. I whimpered in pain every time he kicked my ribs.
"We're over." He growled and kicked me in the face. "It's not like I was ever faithful to you anyway. I always knew what a worthless piece of shit you are. I'm sure the other guy just wanted to experiment and saw what a pathetic little whore you are. The only reason I was with you was a lost bet. There you have it. I've never loved you. And noone else ever will. You're useless."
He spit on me one last time then walked off.
I was in so much pain, I didn't even know what hurt and what didn't anymore. I slowly passed out from the pain. To distract myself from everything I tried to sing the song that was stuck in my head.
Ich tu dir weh, tut mir nicht leid. Das tut dir gut.
Hört wie es schreit.
I knew what that meant. And it was just fitting right now.
Finally, the darkness consumed me and I didn't feel anything anymore.
I slowly woke up to the sound of very loud sirens. I looked around slowly, not wanting to crack my neck or something. Even the slightest movement hurt like a bitch.
My eyes scanned the scene and my eyes widened a bit when I saw Chris standing somewhere near the old headstones. My vision wasn't that good but I think there were tears rolling down his cheeks. But maybe it was just my imagination. I was fucked up.
I was put on the stretcher and the paramedics took me to the hospital. I didn't even want to get fixed again. I just wanted to die. I mean, I was laying on a cemetery anyway. Why make the effort to take me to a hospital and fix me? I was dead inside anyway.
I think they gave me drugs or something because I soon started drifting off again.
The next time I woke up I was in a hospital bed. I looked around my room. There was an old lady in the bed across from mine.
I didn't have any visitors. Surprise. Noone cared about me. Yay. I was alone. I groaned softly and laid my head back. Everything hurt a bit less now and I was grateful for all the drugs they had given me.
I looked over to my side and was surprised to see a single black rose in the vase on my bedside table. I slowly sat up and hissed in pain.
I looked for a card, but there was none. I frowned. Who the fuck would bring me a black rose to the hospital? Noone even knew I was here.
Well, except for Chris and probably my parents. And the rose was definitely not from my parents.
So, could it be from Chris? I was so confused.
