Dan & Phil Oneshots

FNAF (Night 2)

Midnight rolled around too soon, especially since I slept the entire afternoon away. I ended up eating dinner in the car, my left hand on the steering wheel, and a sandwich in the right one. I sped through all the yellow lights, arriving at the parking lot sooner than intended. I finished up the last bites of sandwich and crumpled up the paper, chucking it onto the passenger seat. The night was foggy beyond belief. All I could see of the gas station was a white blob of light and my windshield was covered in tiny droplets, shining in the light of the streetlamp.

I sighed, getting out of the car and locking it before heading back into the ally. Once inside, I hung my coat on the door and sat down at the desk, flipping through the cameras. No sooner had I gone through every room, I heard footsteps down the left hallway. I ran to the door and slammed my hand on the button, a loud *thud* echoing throughout the room as the door sealed the entrance. I heard the footsteps stop right outside the door, then a light knocking sound followed.

Confused, I looked out the window to see which animatronic it was. Sure enough, Phil was standing patiently outside, continuing to rap his knuckles on the door. "Ok, ok. Quit knocking!" I said as I pressed the button, stepping back as it slid open. However, Phil kept moving his fist back and forth despite the fact the door was gone. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a book off of the desk, giving Phil a firm whack on the head to get him to stop. He shook his head after the book impacted it and lowered his hand, finally coming inside the room.

"So you've come to hang out?"

He nodded his head, looking around the room before locking his gaze onto me. I wasn't too keen on letting this animatronic hang out with me as I worked, but I guess it wouldn't hurt to have someone on my side in this hell of a place.

"Ok. Just try to stay quiet while I'm looking at the cameras."

I sat back down at the desk and started flipping through the rooms, trying to ignore Phil's squeaky footsteps. I was about to go through them a second time when I felt something touch my shoulder. I slowly turned my head until I came face-to-face with Phil's metal head.

I stared at Phil, who's chin was comfortably sat on my shoulder. His eyes flitted over to mine as I raised my eyebrows. He blinked a few times before looking back at the computer screen. I sighed, a tiny bit annoyed, but didn't do anything but continue to flip through the cameras.

After turning them off, Phil stood up and walked a bit away from me. I went over to the right hall and peered down it, closing the door quickly afterwards. After checking the left hall, I sat down at the desk and swiveled the chair towards Phil, who was leaning against the back door.

"So, you can't talk?"

He shook his head.

"Can you think?"

He nodded. Interesting...

"Do you have feelings?"

He tilted his head to one side, prompting me to go on.

"You know, pain, happiness, sadness, hatred, love?"

He shrugged. I reached into my back pocket and pulled out my pack of gum, which he pointed to.

"It's gum. Don't eat any, or else your circuits will get clogged, ok?"

Where would he even ingest it? His mouth is sealed shut in a permanent smile.

He watched as I pulled out a piece and unwrapped it and popped it into my mouth. I tossed the packet onto the desk and crumpled up the wrapper, shoving it into my pocket. After a few seconds of chewing, I stood up and went to the door on the right, checking the window before opening it back up. I turned around and stopped, watching as Phil had opened up the top of his head and was placing a few pieces of gum inside it.

"No no no no no no no!" I yelled as I ran towards him, putting him in a head lock and bending him down enough so I could retrieve the still-wrapped pieces of gum from the top of his head. After fishing them out and closing the piece of metal that led to his insides, I put the gum and gum packet back into my pocket. "I told you not to do that! What on Earth were you thinking!?"

He looked at me with that permanent smile, annoying me even more.

"Look, if you can't behave yourself, I'll just have to treat you like the others, ok?"

He nodded and walked towards the corner of the room, facing it with his head tilted downwards. I ignored his "time out" act and went to the doors to make sure that none of the animatronics were led here by my yelling. Of course, Bonnie was right outside the door at this point, so I darted over and pressed the button, letting out the breath I had been holding when I first saw the bunny.

I sat back down at the desk and checked the time; only 4:00am. How could I make this night go any faster? I turned around and looked at Phil, who was still standing in the corner.

"You can come out, you know?"

He turned his head and looked at me, his body following after a few seconds. Totally not creepy...

"Look, I'm... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shown you the gum in the first place. You were only curious, but please try to not get yourself killed or me killed, ok?"

He nodded and opened his arms in what I could only assume was a gesture for a hug. Really? Wow, ok I guess we're doing this? I stood up and walked over to him, rolling my eyes as I wrapped my arms around him. Why did I do this? He's metal, he's cold-

Wait.

He's not cold.

And that skin feels too soft to be metal.

I pulled back and looked at him closely. I ran my hand over his mouth, feeling a slight crack where the teeth were. Moving my hand to his cheek, I ran my thumb over the surface, feeling it heat up underneath my touch. All the while, Phil was still holding onto me.

"What are you?" I whispered, running my hands over his stiff, artificial hair. Phil only looked back at me, his gaze piercing into me.

All of a sudden, he ran away from me and towards the door, full-out punching the button as Chica came trotting towards us. The door slammed closed and we stood there, panting.

"That was a close...wait. Are you...PANTING?"

Sure enough, the robot's chest was lifting up and down rapidly. I stood there, watching as it moved. Unable to comprehend it, I walked over to the chair and sat down, still keeping my eyes on Phil's chest.

I was about to say something when I then heard the church bells chime 6:00. My night was over. I hesitantly stood up, moved towards the door, and grabbed my coat. I pulled it on, all the while keeping my eyes on Phil. His "breathing?" seemed to have leveled out by now, for his chest wasn't moving quite as fast. I shook my head in disbelief and walked out the door, locking it behind me.

This place keeps getting weirder and weirder every time I come.