Coloured thoughts: A collection of poetry & various ramblings of John Wallace

#6 How Long?

How long until it all comes crashing down?

When it happens

You stop

You look around

You see the faces of those around you

They are almost nightmarish

Transformed by your mind

When it happens your psyche is put in a bind

And when you feel it the only thing for you to find

Is yourself

But when you stumble across what you think is you

You don't see your charming face with the imperfect mole

Or those hazel eyes that remind you of the earth

No

You see an ugly , repulsive face

With the splotchy facial hair

And the teeth of a drunken hobo

You start to think to yourself

"this is who I am"

But deep down you know

That is not you

But you just cant help it

The thought of yourself being alright

Is now far gone

Those nightmarish faces of your piers

Start to look more and more evil

They start talking now

Calling you down at every chance

Dragging your mind through the mud

Until she comes along

She says I'm quite the stud

I don't believe a word of it at first

But then

She starts talking about that imperfect mole

The splotchy facial hair and the hobo teeth

And then she says it

She starts talking about your eyes

She says she wants to drift off into them every time she sees them

They remind her of the earth she says

You wonder how someone can make you feel all these things again

These things you haven't felt in a long time

Too long

You start noticing that the faces

Are no longer nightmares

They are your friends

You start to hear them say nice things about you

And you start to believe it

Everything is going so well

You feel like you are soaring upwards in the world

Nothing can stop you!

And then it happens

She slowly stops loving your imperfections

She no longer loves the way you talk

She starts getting annoyed easily

You feel you cant talk to her about it for fear of starting a fight

And then she says it

" they remind me of dirt"

"I no longer want to drift away in them and I never did"

You stop seeing each other...

Now even the thought of her face is nightmarish

The faces around you have changed back

But this time

This time you know better

You know that you have worth

You know you have weaknesses

You just need to learn how to deal with them

And you know you can do it

Especially

Without

Her

So

Tell me ,

How long until it all comes crashing down?