Why Her?

Emotional Explanation

Me and My Broken Heart by Rixton^^^

*TRIGGER WARNING* : There is talk of self harm this chapter
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Sapphire P.O.V

Today Alex and I were going on our weekly date night and I planned on asking her what happened with her after Kaylee cheated on her but I'm scared she might freeze me out.

We were at Asteaka's eating and talking when I decided to ask.

"Alex can ask you something important" I said to her and she looked at me concerned

"O-Ok" she stuttered out nervously

"Um...so you know your ex kaylee..well I want to know what happened to you after you two broke up" I asked nervously

"Um...Why?" She says me now looking upset

"Your sister told me it was really bad and to ask you about it" I told her

I haven't told her that Bailey found out about us yet

"Why would she want me to tell you about it?" she asked me a little flustered with sadness still clear in her eyes

"Because she found out about us being togetherbthat night during dinner were you felt 'sick' " I explained to her

"I told you that you shouldn't have done that and can we talk about this after dinner" she pleaded and of course I agreed because I can't say no to her plead I love her too much

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We were in Alex's room now sitting far from each other on her bed in silence waiting for someone to speak up so I decided I would.

"If you don't want to tell me it's okay" I told her because I don't want this to break us I really love her and don't want her to hurt

"N-no I just it's kind of hard to explain but I want to tell you" she say scooting closer to me

"It's alright take as much time as you need I won't rush you" I told her grabbing her hand and intertwining are fingers

"After I found out she cheated...I became really depressed I thought that it was something I did that...maybe I didn't give her as much love as should , that I should have hugged her more, kissed her or told her I loved her more and I stayed in bed crying I didn't really eat that much anymore..." she took a deep breath "Baily and Diana were getting worried, they were right to because I wanted to die and I even tried to kill myself by cutting my arm with a knife but Bailey came home before I could bleed out and got me to the hospital..." She took a deep breath and I stayed silent letting her taking her time "the doctor said they almost lost me twice luckily they saved me and I even still have a scar that I cover up make up on my arm" I was in shock I hugged her tightly. How could she think to kill herself and almost succeed on doing so
"Sometimes I think I might ruin what we have and that I'm not romantic enough or I don't say I love you enough" she confessed and cried in the crock of my neck

"I don't know why you would think that. You are the most romantic, beautiful, affectionate, kind hearted person ever and you say I love you just enough when your with me which sometimes make me think that I'm not saying I love you enough or showing it" I told her and she looked up shaking her head 'no'

"You are by doing this , letting me cry into your neck and you are by being with me shows me you love me. Especially you risking your job for me." she says wiping her tears and smiling at me

"I love you so much and can we stop with the sappyness before I cry too. Let's cuddle will watching Netflix" I said to her while I climb into her bed and lay down patting the spot next to me

"I have a better idea" she smirks climbing on top of me

"I really want to but we can't your sister is home and I promised her we wouldn't have sex when she was home" I told her I really wanted to take her right there but I couldn't portray her sisters/my best friends trust.

"Okay let's cuddle then" she says laying next to me. I put my arm around her waist and we watched Netflix till we fell asleep.

That was an a emotional day...

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