My Body, His Canvas

Unfortunate nightstand

Unfortunate nightstand

I was about to have sexagain after almost only two weeks since my first time and none of it feltright. Deep down I just had a bad feeling about this one, but I shook thefeeling off and made myself at home there. I closed my eyes as I waited and Ithought of how I would get back inside if one of my parents were to turn thealarm back on while I was gone. Suddenly I got cold again and I squeezed harderinto the pillow. "I'm back". He said as he stood in the door opening.I pushed my torso up off the bed to look up at him and I smiled at him. In away I started feeling insecure and unsure about myself. It took him a shortwhile before he came to lie down with me. He kissed me softly and it stilldidn't take away the worry, the uncertainty, the insecurity and the anxiety. Ikissed him back, gradually though, and it felt okay. The kiss wasokay.
Tonight we didn't start things off with me pleasing him. We kissed for a whilewith my body on top of his. I sat up and I took off the little top I woreover my bra. "You're wearing two bras"? He questioned. "This ishow I sleep, okay"? I tried to explain, but the more I repeated it in myhead the less sense my explanation made to me. I dived my upper bodydownward to embrace his lips with mine again. But I felt tired and I couldsense that he was too. He went and sat up to nibble at my breasts and I ran myfingers through his hair. He turned me over to lie down on my back so he was ontop. This time we didn't really try any foreplay, because we were bothreally tired.
"I'll try without the condom for a second". He said. I dug mynails into his thighs, trying to get him to slow down, as he triedto penetrate me. The pain was even worse than my first time and I had noclue why. "You're so tight again, how is that even possible"? He questioned.But since the pain was so terrible I couldn't focus on answering him. Inthe meantime he took one of the condoms and rolled it over his length like hedid the first time. He then lubed me up with his saliva and he tried again.Again that stinging pain. Maybe I was too tense, too worried, perhaps too tiredeven? No, that couldn't be it. Maybe I wasn't turned on or lubed up enough.Whatever it was, it didn't make the sex any better. After a while, I got usedto the pain and I relaxed. Slowly, the feeling of pleasure crept over me and Imoaned softly.
He placed one of his thumbs into my mouth for me to suck on. It was to mute mymoans as much as possible so I wouldn't wake his people at home. After awhile of thrusting back and forth, I could tell he was too tired tocontinue so he and I agreed that I'd go on top. I thought let me please him abit. He wanted to see it all so he got up and turned on the lights, excitedly."There's blood on your sheets. Why am I bleeding"? I questioned andhis head jolted in my direction. He looked down onto his length and therewas blood on it too. He took his condom off and he turned the lights outagain. "It'll be fucked up to look at that. Never mind I'll turn offthe lights again." He said before he came back to lie down. He spreadone of his towels down on the bed underneath us. I felt somewhat ashamed,because I felt bad that I had stained his sheets. Then I sat on my folded legswaiting for him to get in position. First he swung his left leg and heaccidentally kicked me in the head. "Ow." I softly exclaimed,in a whisper tone, even though it didn't hurt for shit. I always toldhim how I liked being dramatic. And that was one of the slight dramaticmoments. But as soon I got to pleasing him, I forgot about it. I sucked,slobbered and gagged and he loved it. His eyes rolled in their sockets andhis hands carefully caressed my face and my head. After a shortwhile I jacked him off and sucked off the juices that cameflying from his erect length. But it wasn't as pleasing, to him, itseemed. I think I might have been a little too rough."It hurts" He said and I backed down, gave his shaft a peckand then he asked if I'd like to go on top. I said yes, naturally. Icarefully swayed my hips back and forth onto his length, for it felt as ifhe poked my intestines. Eventually, I felt him getting soft. I thought maybeit's just a matter of seconds before his penis will be erect again. So I rodehim, but it wasn't very breathtaking. I looked down at his face and his eyeswere closed, his hands were underneath his head and I thought he wasenjoying it, I don't know. I bent down forward to kiss his lips and hecaressed my torso. He scratched onto my back softly and I remembered how greatand how amazing it felt. It turned me on so good and I threw my head back.But the dick wasn't even close to the pleasure which the scratching made mefeel. I thought I'd turn around and try the reverse cowgirl on him, but hesuggested we just wait until his length was erect again. I agreed and I went tolie down beside him. He retrieved his underwear from his bedside table if Iremember correctly and then he wore that along with his pants. I couldn'tunderstand why he wore his clothes after every round just to take them back offfor the following round. His body heat was the best thing I felt all night forit was a cold dark night. And feeling his warmth felt soothing and relaxing."You're so warm." I spoke as I clammed myself onto him. "I thinkI finally know why most girls are physically clingy when we go to the movies.It's because I'm their human heater."
I only smiled at his remark, for I felt not comfortable speaking of how girlshave been a little affectionate with him that same day or the day before. Myhead was next to his and I stared for a while. I thought "Wow, howbeautiful you are." But I soon looked at the ceiling again, listening towhatever he had to say. For a second I wanted to fall asleep right there, nextto him. But then I reminded myself of the fact that I still had to go homeand he wouldn't come with me. It wasn't really about having him comewith me, it was more about the fact that I was scared and sad to drive home ina taxi, all alone. I'd have given anything to have at least some sort offamiliar presence with me. But I had none and as I realized this, I wasconsumed by that bad feeling I had at the beginning of that night. "Hey, Idon't think I'll have another boner for tonight." He softly spoke. He saidit almost as if he didn't want to not match my expectations.But I was disappointed, all right. I felt the most disappointed I've been in awhile. I stayed quiet for a few minutes and he repeated it. I thought maybe hewanted me to leave because he's tired, but perhaps he was scared to actuallysay so. "Should I leave then?" I questioned. "Yeah, I guess."He said underneath his breath, but just loud enough for me to hear. And it wasat that moment, I felt like the night wasn't worth it. I wanted him to tell meto stay at least a little longer even if we weren't going to have any more sexfor the rest of the night. I wanted him to not let me leave just yet, becausementally I wasn't ready to. I hoped he'd change his mind to tellme something like "Or do you want to stay a little longer." or"Should I come along with you?", "Are you fine?", "Areyou going to be fine?" I wanted him to at least ask one of those thingsjust for the sake of my scared and anxious self. But he did not and I saidnothing to him either. I got dressed and I took all of my things from off hisbedside table as he called a cab to come pick me up. He escorted me out of hishouse to the gate. There I jumped over the fence again. "Can you waitacross the street?" He asked and I nodded. He gave me an explanation as towhy I had to wait there, but I can't quite remember it. For my memory is losingits remarkable powers due to my staying-up-late habit. The drive home wasshort, but it seemed the longest ever. I watched as we passed thecity lights and I took in the breeze again. I was so disappointed that I didn'tquite enjoy the night as I usually do. When I got home I exited the cab a blockaway from my house, because I did not want to have dogs barking while I got outof the car to jump over my fence. For it could wake my parentsand they would come out looking what the matter was and if that happened, thealarm would definitely be put back on. And I wouldn't have any option to enterthe house, but to call my brother and to ask him for help. Which I didn't wantto do by the way. As I made my way over the fence and into our yard, I heard theclattering of pots and I immediately knew my dad was awake again. I quicklyduck and ran to hide behind one of the vegetable plants. I noticedthe curtain was pulled over the window again and I figured the alarm wasback on. I waited and I waited outside as I planned how I'd enter the house inmy head. The mosquitoes stung me even more now and I almost cried out offrustration from the entire night. I was cold, anxious, disappointed and even alittle sad and I tried thinking of a plan to get back into the house, but Icouldn't because the mosquitoes just couldn't leave me be. I pulled my arms outof the short sleeves of my shirt and I kept them close to mystomach because my stomach felt warm. My feet were still exposed andso were my neck and my face. I was fed up with the situation, but I couldn't doanything other than stay put. I texted him to tell him that I was home and thatthe alarm was back on with my dad awake. Then I sat and waited and waited somemore. It was around after 2 in the AM that I arrived back home and I waitedtill 5 in the morning before I lay down my pride. I lay down my pride to ask mybrother for help, because I was too tired, mentally, to figure out a good plan.I texted my brother multiple times so he could wake up. It took only aboutten minutes for him to react and I explained to him that I was outside. Ofcourse being the big brother he asked me what the hell was wrong with me. Butlong story short, he got me inside the house. He was scared as hell and it kindof made him mad. But as I was in my room wiping the mud off from under my feet,he came in all hyped up and adrenalized. "You're the dumbest person Iknow, but you're fucking crazy! You're gangster! What the hell? You scared me.Fucking amazing!" He said and I forced a chuckle at his remarks. I knew itwas stupid of me. I felt so much that I couldn't make out what it was whatI actually felt. I didn't know what I was supposed to feel atall anymore. What I do know is whatever I felt, was nothing positive and all Iwanted was to sleep and forget. And so I did. I'll get into how my brother gotme into the house soon. Just not in this chapter.