Bad stories I wrote as a kid

As if Tom and Jerry and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory wasn't bad enough.

Okay, so when I was 8, I had this crossover idea that I actually put a lot of thought and passion into. But looking back on it, it was absolutely terrible.

So sit back, relax, and get comfy as I tell you the epic story of Leia and the Chocolate Factory.

Once upon a time, Padme, Darth Vader, Luke, and Leia all lived together in harmony. (This is in an AU where Padme is still alive and all the Skywalkers live together. All of the Sith Lords are still alive too.) That is, until Willy Wonka announces that 5 kids could find Golden Tickets by buying his chocolate bars and then would win a tour of his factory on the candy planet...uh....Candyraan. So everyone starts buying the chocolate bars.

The first Golden Ticket is found by Augustus Dooku, the son of Count Dooku. (This is actually extremely funny in hindsight, considering Christopher Lee, who played Count Dooku, also played Willy Wonka's dad in the 2005 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.) He really likes food. That was basically his entire character.

The second is found by Veruca Palpatine, the daughter of Emperor Palpatine (do it). She is a spoiled brat. I also imagine she'd wear, like, dark clothes from Hot Topic or something.

The third is found by Violet Maul, the daughter of Darth Maul. She's obnoxious and tomboyish, and she's obsessed with gum. If I remember right, she was the character I liked the most.

The fourth is found by Mike Ventress, the son of Asajj Ventress. He loves video games, and he's a grumpy little brat.

Then, suddenly, the fifth one is found by Princess Leia, and she and Darth Vader decide to go to the factory together.

The next day, they all travel to Candyraan in their spaceships and Willy Wonka welcomes them into his factory. They enter the Chocolate Room, and Augustus gets sucked up the pipe, and the Oompa-Troopas (like Oompa-Loompas, except storm troopers) sing a song about it.

Then they enter the Invention Room and Violet turns into a blueberry. I don't know why, but the part where Violet turns into a blueberry was my favorite scene as a kid. It's a good thing I didn't discover DeviantArt until I was 10. Then the Oompa-Troopas sing a song about it and roll her off to the Juicing Room.

Then they go to the room with the geese, and Veruca sings "I Want It Now" and falls into the garbage chute. Then Emperor Palpatine goes in with her, and it's basically exactly like when he fell down that hole in Return of the Jedi. Then the Oompa-Troopas sing a song about it.

Finally, they go to the TV room, Mike gets teleported and shrunk down, and they take him to the Taffy-Stretching Room as the Oompa-Troopas sing a song about it.

Then, since Leia is the only one left, she gets the factory and everyone lives happily ever after.

The End! (Thank goodness...)