Small, unfinished things

The Fear Of Hitting Publish

2,375 words. That's how many words Alexander's newest chapter had after three separate proof readings. As he stared at the screen, satisfied with his work, his mouse hovered over the publish button. But was it really good enough? Alex started re-re-re-reading the chapter just in case there were any mistakes. None. As per usual. He tapped his fingers on the desk. "Come on Alex, just publish the damn thing!" he said to himself. The cursor hovered over the cursed button, but it didn't click. Alex threw back his head in frustration, only for it to be met with John's torso. "Oh, hey John," Alex said, rubbing the back of his head. Laurens wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's shoulders. "Careful," he teased, "You might hit your head." Alex rolled his eyes in response, as John glanced over at his computer screen. "Are you done with the chapter yet? We gotta get going soon." Alex grimaced and sat foward in his chair. "Yeah... But..." John poked his arm. "But what?" The smaller man buried his face in his arms. "It's not good enough." Laurens sighed, and hugged Alexander tighter. "That's what you say everytime, babe." Hamilton shifted underneath John and muttered a "I do not..." His boyfriend chuckled and pulled up something on his phone. "Your last chapter got over four hundred likes, how could it not be good?" Alex lifted his head. "I know that, it's just," he bit his lip. "It's always scary no matter how many people like it." John stood up straight, and checked his phone. "As much as I want to go you through this, we really gotta leave," he said. Alex took a breath in and faced the computer screen. "You know what, John? You're right. I have fans that like my work, I've proof read this way too many times, and I have dinner reservations with some very nice friends." And before he could second guess himself, Alexander hit publish. John smiled, and held his hand as they walked our the door together." I'm proud of you, you know. " His boyfriend laughed, and kissed him on the cheek." I know."