The Diary Of A Nigerian Teenager

August Week 1: The August Visitor

1st August , 2016.

Tsup Joey,

        Finally bought a new diary! Not many things to be happy about around here though. We finally vacated from school. Bad news is Ted's back home and has been pissing me off daily since he arrived. He came today and will be home for a month or two.

        Today for example, he used my toilet and didn't flush. He has his and I wonder why he had to use mine. I complained to mum but she didn't do nothing. He also drained my phone's battery, playing games without my permission. That's not all though.

          The by far most painful thing he did was that he ate my food. Mum cooked this sumptuous fried rice with chicken and all but I was going out with Cody(to the pool), so I left mine in the pot, only to get home and find Ted eating it. I confronted him and he laughed and went into his room. I really felt like beating him up. I'm even taller than he is now but I know mum and dad would punish me even if I'm right. I'm basically tired of him and he's only been around for two days now.

         Talking about mum and Dad. Things have gotten a little heated around here recently. They're always arguing over everything. Sometimes their fights are meaningless. It's scary though.

Pray for us, Joey.

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2nd August, 2016.

       Cody and I went to the pool today. It's funny he's been teaching me to swim for a week now and I've learnt nothing. I met this girl at the pool though. Her name's Rachel. She was laughing at me when I nearly drowned myself and offered to teach me. Of course, I accepted the offer. It was really fun. Her body close up to mine in the water and she's really endowed. It felt like I was a musician in a music video.

        Talking about close up (a toothpaste this time) , Ted must be a bastard, he put mine into the Water Closet (WC) and brought it out and placed it on the basin like nothing had happened. I had put it on my brush already before my younger sister told me what Ted had done. If not for her, I'd have brushed my teeth with toilet water toothpaste. What sort of a stupid prank is that. The guy is basically an idiot.

        Still on close up, mum and dad fought over toothpaste today. Though, not close up but Oral B. Mum feels toothpast should be pressed out from the bottom and Dad feels otherwise. How this led to a fight, I'm still wondering because it's highly ludicrious.

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3rd August, 2017.

Tsup Joey,

         Mum's best friend's daughter came home today. She's spending a week with us. She's really really pretty like damn. I couldn't keep my gaze off her from the moment she walked in.  Actually, she can only be described as an angel. Her skin's like brown sugar, lips like strawberry and talk about being endowed, God must have a preference for her over most girls.  I saw Ted checking her out too.

        I fucked up our first conversation though. I was busy daydreaming about kissing her and all when she was asking me to show her to her room. At the end, Ted showed her to her room. Why he had a hand on her waist, I'm not so sure. He just needed to show her to her room. Pervert! She must think I'm weird though. I didn't get to see her again after that. She has been pretty much shut up in her room since then.

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4th August, 2016.