Chapter 1
Elisa POV
Waking up to the sound of my alarm clock. I dread going to school. Even though this is what I've always wanted, to go to school and be normal for once, I didn't appreciate the early mornings and judgmental comments and stares that I'd get from my classmates.
The reason I hadn't been in public school for so long is because when I moved back to England from living in the middle east for 3 years I begged to be "online schooled." I wanted to be online schooled because of the "anxiety" I felt of going back to mainstream schooling. I built up a bigger fear than what it is. Pathetic.
After months of counselling and finding a very small school which caters for people with "mental issues" I was practically forced into a normal school because if I didn't I would most probably be homeless with no education.
I was happy that I could take exams and have "friends" because I was also slightly jealous of my best friend Erin. Erin had a nice group of friends and I once asked her in December of 2016 (a month before counselling) if I could meet them and we could all go to the cinema together because that was when I was so mentally low and really needed people besides her and my mum. She just pushed it off and we never really spoke about it. I was so heart broken knowing that she would go out with them knowing that I had nobody but myself.
I was so pathetic that I wouldn't leave my room for days and it would smell horrible. I couldn't tell because I became immune. I would order dominos ice cream every day and talk to my online school friends. Eventually they all left too.
As a teenage girl, I got lonely and one by one went through the 5 or 6 online boys in my online class. One of which made the effort to travel 6 hours to come and see me. Long story short as soon as he left I never messaged him again. I then "dated" his best friend who I knew online because of him (ops.)
After not even having online friends to talk to I remember it was near Christmas time and I went downstairs into my main living room to talk to my mum properly for the first time in months. I remember crying about not having any friends and I even mentioned about how Erin has so many friends and I'm so alone. I told her I knew I needed help. I knew I needed help after hearing a conversation between my mum and dad talking about sending me to normal school and my dad said, "if we send her to public school she'll probably end up killing herself." I was such an embarrassment.
However, I'm here to tell the tale.
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