Gone Home✔️

Chapter 05: Dad's Office

As uncomfortable as all this made me, I could still feel a dry need, almost a hunger, somewhere inside of me.

I wanted to know more.

I tried to tell myself that maybe I'd find something happy, something to balance out all these sad or weird things I'd found. That's when I noticed a ball of crumpled up papers not far from my foot, beside a wastebasket next to the desk. I crouched and retrieved them, smoothing them out. After reading through them, I quickly realized that they were my dad's attempts at writing. I didn't get it, it was out there sci-fi stuff with space stations and time travel...but he was writing again! I felt vindicated. This was happy news, this was worth snooping for.

Dad was writing what he loved again!

I crumpled the paper back up and replaced it, intent on leaving everything as I had found it. Obviously I didn't want anyone to know I was snooping. The only thing left in dad's office was his filing cabinet...only it was new. It wasn't like his old one, this one had a combination lock on the top of the three drawers.

Okay, I had to get in there.

The other two were unlocked, and rightly so. Skimming through them, all I found was a bunch of old rejection slips from publications and tax stuff. Where would he hide the combo? I knew dad sometimes had trouble remembering things, so, at my and mom's pressing, he'd eventually started writing stuff down to remember it. Obviously it wasn't in his desk, I'd have found it. There was another door at the back of the room.

It was partially open and there was only darkness beyond.

I found another button to my left and pressed it. Way cool! We had our own library now! Bookshelves took up a lot of space to my left and right. Walking into the room, I found a slightly raised area at the back that was kind of like a little sun porch. There were a pair of chairs set up on either side of a table. Behind them and to either side were windows that, right now, showed nothing but darkness and trees and rain streaking down the glass.

Turning around, I saw the room extended and the bookshelves created a natural upside down U shape. The very first thing that caught my eye was none other than Fresh magazine! A copy of it sat on the table. Oh man, it was so tempting to just sit down and start reading. A pretty blonde woman with pink lipstick and a braid in her hair looked up at me. Cover stories included: TRUE STORIES: I WAS A TEENAGE DRAG QUEEN! and READERS TELL US ABOUT THEIR WORST MOMENTS and 90210: DOES ANYBODY STILL CARE? and, finally, THE MALE GAZE HOW TO SUBVERT IT. Oh man, that one's really tempting.

I'd had enough of the male gaze since hitting middle school to last me a whole lifetime, especially over in Europe. Don't get me wrong, it's nice to know that I can turn heads but...sometimes, getting stared at like a piece of meat was just total gag and more than a little annoying. Reluctantly, I replaced the magazine and crouched down, spying another piece of paper peeking out from beneath a half-folded newspaper on the bottom shelf.

It looked to be a list of book names. Another sign that dad was back on the path to success! At least, I sure hoped so.

As I turned back around, I noticed the end of the middle bookshelves came with doors on the bottom and they were partially open. I could see something inside...surprise, surprise, curiosity came calling again.

I crouched down and opened it, finding a box that, once I pulled the top off, I saw was packed with copies of my dad's books. The Accidental Pariah by Terrance L. Greenbriar. Dad's second book. The cover left something to be desired. It was just plain text against a black background with JFK's face through a keyhole, not even properly centered. As I began to put it back, I noticed that the box wasn't actually packed with copies of dad's books.

There was something underneath...a magazine?

I dug through the books and pulled it out, then immediately regretted it. It was a copy of a girlie magazine which had, I'm sure, naked ladies between the covers. Ew. Gross. I hastily put it back, trying to block mental images of my freakin' dad looking at this. I wasn't gonna judge but seriously, gross. I got it all back in place and closed the doors.

Okay, definitely time to move on.

In the end, there was just one more thing in the room worth checking out...and it made me sad all over again. I found a manila folder sitting near the back of the room, on a clear space in one of the bookshelves. As I opened it, I spied a piece of paper with flat black text typed up on it and, oh boy, 0451 printed on the inside of the folder. Hello combination! I picked up the paper and started reading it, my frown getting deeper by the second.

Dear Terrance,

David asked me to write you regarding the reviews
you've been submitting the last few months. Frankly
they're becoming more trouble than they're worth
from an editing standpoint. There's a word limit--
it's your job to stay under it, not mine to cut
back to it. Even then it's becoming harder and
harder to weed out the tangents and non sequiturs
from the usable copy without heavy rewrites. The
readers of Home Theater Aficianado want to hear
about the quality and value of the hardware, not
ruminations on your childhood!

If it were up to me I wouldn't be writing this
letter. I'd just be cutting you loose. There's
tons of guys half your age who would take half
your rate to write stuff I could actually use.

But David's known you for a long time, and he's
the boss, so I'm giving you one more shot on his
say-so. You should write him a nice note thanking
him for his patience and generosity.

Look through your old stuff and start submitting
reviews like that again. Then everybody will be
happy.

Brent Kurtwood
Reviews Editor, Home Theater Aficionado Magazine

Oh no, dad...I felt suddenly a little ill with worry. If dad lost his job...I don't know what we'd end up doing. I got the feeling that this mansion was paid off, so that was at least a decent portion of the monthly bills my parents wouldn't have to pay...but how much was it in utilities? Did that even matter, if dad lost his job? Could we survive on mom's income alone? I felt lucky that my grandparents had set aside a pretty decent college fund for me and Sam, and that I'd busted ass in high school to get some scholarships.

I'd come out of college, (hopefully), with almost no debt.

But what about mom and dad? What about Sam?

I carefully folded the manila folder back and walked through the library, retracing my steps, feeling very distracted as I came up to the filing cabinet and put in the code. It clicked open. I pulled the drawer out and checked inside. I only found one thing of interest: Oscar's will. Besides all the regular legal yada yada, it said that everything went to dad. Why? Grandma and Grandpa were still alive...

I couldn't find any other clues, so I replaced it, closed the drawer and locked it, putting the combo back to all sevens, like it had been at first. For a moment, I just stood there, looking around dad's office, lingering, wonderful if maybe I should stop. I'd found out a few things so far that I kind of wish I hadn't. But, on the other hand...well, I was a firm believer in the 'knowledge is power' kind of idea, not exactly an 'ignorance is bliss' kind of girl. It was a tough decision, but I knew I had to go on, even if only to discover what had happened to Sam.

With a sigh, I left dad's office behind.