Chapter 1

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It's been a long and tiring day for Alec Lightwood. First his parents are back, then he has to deal with the backlash of what his Parabatai and the annoying red-head have caused because they both refuse to listen to authority (Jace has been bad, but now he has no regard for it and the short mundane thinking that going out on a mission with no okay from the Clave to do it seems to be all right). Next he gets a call from Jace claiming that needs him and his 'Virgin Shadowhunter Energy' to help Luke, a fellow Alpha and most recent leader of the New York Werewolf pack.

Alec doesn't want to go. After all he has the Institute to look after and his sister is trying to change who she is to take some of the heat off of him, which he appreciates but he doesn't want her to become a shell of who she is just to please the Clave and their parents. Then there is the fact that Magnus have known each other a bit longer before Clary showed up.

It's a few months ago when Jace and Izzy decided to go out for a night of partying. The two had decided on the club Pandemonium, a Downworlder friendly club that some of the New York Shadowhunters sometimes frequent as well either for a mission or, like the Downworld, for fun. Of course Alec, being the better-safe-than-sorry person he is, told them to pack some weapons just in case they run into demons who shouldn't be there. Izzy took her whip, Alec his bow and quiver, and they all took a seraph blade.

When they get there Izzy and Jace instantly went to the dance floor, flirting, dancing (more like grinding) with many patrons of the place, coming to the bar every so often to talk to Alec, making sure he's doing well and having a drink too. After the third or fifth time of them coming to the bar Alec looks over the crowd and when he gets to the other end of the bar he sees someone.

The person is of Asian descent, he has dark hair in spikes, dark brown-eyes lined with coal and dark eyeshadow, an open shirts that Alec cannot make the color of because of the multicolor lights that shows off his well toned chest, hundreds of necklaces around his neck and cascading down his chest, tight leather pants that looked painted on, and heels.

Everything the man is wearing, seemingly to be flirting with both men and women patrons of the bar, going off and mingling with many people that the eldest Lightwood is sure that his sister might end up dancing with him (maybe more, but Alec doesn't want to think about that). Alec has to turn his head away before he can be caught staring. What the man is doing, is acting, is everything Alec wishes to be but cannot.

For Shadowhunters they marry young, have kids young, die young. That's it. With the Clave it's always been man and woman, no two men or women live together unless they are family or Parabatai. Even so Parabatai living together is still a bit of a risk if they are opposite genders as no one wants them to fall in love. Even Shadowhunters who choose not to marry cannot adopt another Shadowhunter child unless they are with someone or it's the parents' wishes for the single Shadowhunter to have their child.

No one is allowed to be like Alec in the Clave. Gay. If anyone finds out about Alec preferring men and not women (besides his sister) then Alec can kiss his job, being promoted to Head of the Institute, and just being a Shadowhunter in general all goodbye. There is no way that Clave official will allow a Shadowhunter who prefers the same-sex to run an Institute or give orders without double guessing if he is favoring a romantic partner by giving him missions to bust rogue Downworlders, even mundanes dabbling in the Shadow World, or keeping them safe by keeping them from doing field work.

Not only that but there is a good chance that every same-sex Parabatai duo may be given the Soul Sword and asked if they are romantically involved or have any feelings for each other.

And Alec would fail it Jace would never look at him the same again as a friend or a brother, but instead with hatred. Both Jace and his parents would disown him; and Izzy would be the only person he would have left. Not that he would mind, she's the only one he has now about keeping his sexuality a secret.

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