How to NOT be an Asian Failure

2. Visit your grandma

It is a family tradition where we visited my maternal grandparents every Friday, and the paternal ones every Saturday. My mother had 5 sisters, while my father had 2 brothers and a sister.

My dad's side was obviously my favourite side. With more cool uncles and less (or none really) nosy aunts, it wasn't difficult to prefer one side to the other.

It was Friday, which meant that it was time to visit my maternal grandparents. I didn't mind my grandparents by themselves. They were pretty laid back and kept mostly to themselves. In fact, I think that the weekly get-togethers are mainly for the sake of my mother's sisters rather than my grandparents.

In fact, apart from the customary greetings, I never really spoke much to my grandparents at these events. Most times, I was ambushed by my baby cousins wanting to play or something and nosy aunts that had no concept of personal space or questions.

Out of my 5 aunts, 3 of them (who happened to be triplets) were married while the other 2 were still single. Somehow, the triplets all got pregnant around the same time (probably a triplet sense or something) and I have 7 baby cousins in total.

As you can imagine, Fridays bring about no peace.

As soon as we stepped into my grandparents' flat, the battle began. The faint sound of crying could be heard, and I figured one of the babies was either hungry or seeking attention. Janet (who had the latest iPhone after graduating from Raffles Girls' School) headed straight for the living room, where she would find a seat and remain there for the entire evening.

My mum left to look for her sisters, leaving my and dad alone to fend for ourselves. After the customary hellos to my grandparents and all my aunts and uncles, I walked to the living room. Adrian, one of the babies, was the one bawling his eyes out.

All the aunts present in the room were doing their best to appease him by talking in the most ridiculous (and annoying) baby voices. Even after he calmed down, they continued to stay around him because he had a tendency to get upset when all the attention wasn't on him.

"Dinner!" Grandma called in Mandarin. Soon, the triplet aunts were gathering their children and heading to the dining room.

Usually, the dining room would be where all the adults gathered while Janet and I stayed in the living room because there was no space for the entire family. However, since our three aunts started popping child after child, the living room was where everyone else congregated as well since the babies were all there.

Only the men, being my father, grandfather and the three uncles, stayed in the living room, where they, fortunately, got to enjoy their peace, even for a little while.

"Kai Le!" Aunt Lin called as I settled on the sofa to enjoy my dinner, "how's your preparation for your PSLE?"

Aunt Lin worked in a primary school as an administrator. She was one of the unmarried aunts, and she was also the aunt that told my mum that I needed Chinese Theatre lessons based on hearsay from parents that passed through the doors of the school's general office.

She meant well, but she knew only of the school's administrative systems and nothing really on the education system itself. As a result, her suggestions were rarely meaningful though my mum trusted her with her advice for her kids apparently.

"Okay," I told her.

"Ya, Le Le!" Another aunt added, "you've grown so big already! To think that in two months, you'll be sitting for your PSLE already! What a big boy!"

Janet glared at me as I was about to make a comment on how she was going on to junior college already, so I refrained.

"So, Le Le, which school are you aiming to go to?"

With my mum watching me like a hawk, there was only one correct answer. "RI."

"Aiyo! Le Le is so clever, aiming to go to only the best school!" One of the triplets cooed. She turned to her child, "Next time you must also be like your kor kor and go to the best school okay?"

I could see Janet inwardly rolling her eyes. Coming from a Raffles school, I suppose she found their fascination with the school a bit pathetic.

I never really had a choice in what school I wanted to attend. To my parents (and probably all the other Chinese parents as well), it was always Raffles. There were other fantastic schools to go to, but Raffles was the dream for me.

When Janet got accepted into Raffles Girls' School, my parents were ecstatic. Then the attention was focused on me.

"Kai Le, must work hard okay? It's not easy to get into the school with all the other...."

I tuned Aunt Lin out. It was always the same speech over and over again. I think even Janet, the family genius, has heard it enough times to have memorised it by heart.

I politely smiled and nodded along, but I rolled my eyes inwardly. It was almost as if my aunt didn't know that I knew what it was like to be a student taking the stupid exam. 

And perhaps that was what I hated so much about these large family gatherings. It was where you were supposed to see the relatives you're supposed to treasure and respect (just because they're older than you), but it's really just a bunch of adults pretending to understand what you're going through. 

I didn't get that. I was the one sitting for the exam, yet surrounded by my aunts, it felt like we were all going into the exam hall together. And not in the happy way where we all start singing we're all in this together as if it were a musical, but rather in a way where I perpetually have all of them as backseat drivers, telling me exactly what needed to be done as if it was their future we were talking about. 

I hated it. 

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References:
1. Kai Le is Calleach's Chinese name. It is common for generally non-English speaking families to call each other by their Chinese names instead of their English names, especially if the relatives are older. Le Le is the shortened form of Kai Le.
2. Raffles Girls' School (RGS) is the female equivalent of RI. A majority of the students from both these schools go through the Integrated Programme, where upon graduation from secondary school, they go straight to Raffles Junior College.
3. Kor kor (or ge ge) is what we call an older brother. In families or close friends, it's used to address an older male that is slightly older than you. Basically, someone who is not old enough to be called Uncle yet.

So what do you think?? Do you think Calleach is a little harsh in his judgement? Do you think he is justified? 

Let me know how you thought this chapter was! :)