peachy keen [rant book]

vanilla

(the titles of this rant book are all inspired by ice cream flavours because i love ice cream so much i wish i could eat 5 pints of ice cream rn)

it's 11:51 pm and i'm currently listening to the playlist i made for the boy i'm crushing on. idk uh let's call him quin. quin is 6'1, skinny, half white/asian, football player and he's an absolute sweetheart. he's a vision. just looking at him makes my heart melt. that's how cute and soft looking he looks. he's soft looking and hard looking at the same time. it confuses me, but he switches inbetween them a lot.

what saddens me is, uhhh, i don't think he's interested in me. i'm not 100% sure, but everything is so confusing. i'm the one who's confusing, tbh. the things that he does? i misinterpret them. it's either i'm reading too much into the lines or i'm not reading closely enough.

"irene, why won't you just ask him?" hey, what's up? i'm irene, i'm 16 and i never learnt how to accept defeat and i'm scared of rejection.

i swear i really want to talk to him about my stupid mf feelings but idk i'll talk to him when me and my group of friends go out and have a couple of drinks. 

the only thing i talked about in this chapter is how i felt towards the boy i liked. why am i actually so annoying?

playlist for quin:
– fix you by coldplay
– clean by the japanese house
– fallingforyou by the 1975
– idfc by blackbear
– someone else by lany