Things You Can Do to Improve Your Writing Now

A Small Chapter on Paragraphs and Dialogue

Never place actions next to character dialogue in such a manner as to confuse the reader about who is speaking. There's a very important reason for this, a sort of writing rule or theory of reader behaviour: if you force your readers to analyse what they are reading, they are no longer enjoying your story. If they are no longer enjoying your story, you just raised the chances they'll pull out entirely and drop reading it. Don't expect any reader to continue reading if you confuse them throughout the reading experience. One of the biggest confusions I've seen in amateur writing is lack of logic concerning dialogue and actions.

Some writers avoid using dialogue tags (he said, she said) because they’ve been told too many is a form of amateurish writing. Dialogue tags have their place. They guide the reader, keep them informed as to who has just spoken. But yes, too many can look amateurish. When you want less dialogue tags, aligning your dialogue with actions can keep the reader clued in.

The simple logic is as follows: If you don’t use dialogue tags, keep the action sentence next to the dialogue sentence of the same character. Do not put the character’s action sentence in the same paragraph with another character’s dialogue if the action will, even for one second, make the reader wonder who just spoke. Group your sentences into paragraphs that belong to one character at time.

Pay attention to timing. Don’t have someone talk after an action occurred when the talking should have happened first. The reverse is also true.

NEVER put the dialogue of two characters in the same paragraph unless they happen to be speaking the same thing at the same time and you make it clear this is the case.

This logic, by the way, helps clarify POV (point of view) when you have multiple characters, and also helps clarify stories that are written from single points of view when you have many people talking in a scene.

I will use an example with three characters, Bob, Doug and Larry. They are fishing.

First example (the confusing version):

Doug shoved the canoe out into the water. A frog darted out from behind water grasses and glided silently away.

“That’s a big one. Don’t do that!” Larry smacked the paddle down in the water, making the frog dart farther away. Larry shrugged.

“Why?”

Bob laughed and sloshed into the water toward the canoe. “Come and grab this before we lose it.”

Second example (the fixed version):

Doug shoved the canoe out into the water. A frog darted out from behind water grasses and glided silently away. “That’s a big one.”

Larry smacked the paddle down in the water, making the frog dart farther away.

“Don’t do that!”

Larry shrugged. “Why?”

Bob laughed and sloshed into the water toward the canoe. “Come and grab this before we lose it.”

As you can see, simply by positioning the action sentences properly, we clarify for the reader who said what and when they said it. Even without dialogue tags, the reader will assume Doug said "Don't do that!" because the sentence has it's own paragraph separated from Larry's action.

The timing of Doug's actions make more sense too. Action/reaction have each been given separate paras belonging to separate characters in the proper sequence. And we now know for sure Larry, not Bob, said "Why?" 

So next time you write, pay attention to the logic of who acted as compared to who spoke and when these actions occurred. Form your paragraphs to re-inforce ownership of dialogue.