dear diary [✔️]

entree 1

dear namjoon,
                          todays been bad. ive been stupid. i can't go anywhere on my own anymore.  im so scared, to leave my room. i just want to stay here, in your arms.  its the only place i feel safe.

my parents tried to get me to talk again, they started arguing. he hurt me again. maybe if i wasn't so scared to talk, everything would be okay...

maybe i should make myself talk...
they are sending me to a therapist now to see if they can make me talk, but i don't want to go, i don't want some stranger to be the first one to hear me talk, i want you to be the first to hear me talk namjoon.

i wish i could just talk, so i could tell you how much i love you...
i want say those three words to you so much, but im terrified to speak again, i hate that im scared to talk, even if its just to you.

i love you so much joonie

yoongi

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dear yoongi,

                 you know that i will never make you go anywhere im happy to just keep you in my arms, to cuddle you all day and never let you go.

i promise when ive saved up enough money we will get away from here, we can go where ever you want and we will rent an apartment and we can just be with each other and cuddle as much we want. 

i could kill him for even just laying a finger on you, you're so perfect, i know you dont see yourself that way but to me you are, weather you can or can't talk. damn yoongi you could be blind or deaf or even both and i'd still think you're perfect.

baby, don't force yourself to talk, i know its hard for you, so don't force it, we can work on it. but only when you're ready. i know you're scared but one day maybe you'll speak again, but i'm fine if you don't ever talk again. im fine with communicating with you via sign language.

i know you don't want to go to the therapist but go to keep them off your back baby, if you want i'll take you to the therapist and wait for you.

i love you so much baby, words can never explain how much i love you. we will get through this together, and  we can grow older together and maybe adopt a couple of kids? aha, or just have pets? i don't know but all i know is that i wanna spend the rest of my life with you.

i love you till death

namjoon