why do I hate my life????

just thoughts

Well I missed writing I got no time for it now am always driving my family to whenever they want.am so tired of this shit, I only kept writing my thoughts on my phone .
I want to learn to write songs, I really admire those great minds that are capable to write songs and compose them. I admire gdragon for that also min yoongi from bts I just think they are brilliant. And expect the best from the them. Am not like other fans that want to marry them and dream about that. My wish is to meet them and learn from them. Everyone wants them to live them I want to learn from them they are the best of the best. Legends if I might say. They composed so many songs while they were only trainees, and that's just wonderful.

Well I've spent the day out taking my sister to the dentist then going shopping for groceries,cleaning the house ,then taking mum home from work, buying bread for dinner,putting dinner getting a shower, cleaning the dishes. And now am on my bed feeling tired and exhausted I only got 5 hours of sleep as I always stay up reading or writing things down things as my thoughts and feelings or just thinking about the future as I know that I have no future and my parents pushing me to get a job and pay for myself.
Am only a student and they won't let me get a part time job, mum prefers that I saty home cleaning and cooking then getting a job and working.
In some ways I can understand that the job an going to get wouldn't be highly payed but it's just a part time job as I get humiliated everyday for allowance, I think it's a good option but for them it's bad.
They think just because am preparing my master's degree I should get a highly pages job but that'snot how it works.
My friend has a PhD in biology and can't get a job and my parents know her.
See how ironic the situation is.
Anyway, today I only had two cigarettes, it's enough for me.
Good news though, I got a letter saying that I was accepted to pass a test for a job at the foreign ministry as a Secretary
Mum was thrilled, but am not.
It's not what I want to do I guess
I don't know really
I don't know what I want.
Should I show you things that I've been writing or should I keep it to myself as usual.
Maybe I should man up someday
Let's hope that someday I'll make it in life or if not that I won't be a burden in my family