my drops of tears i'll turn to sparks of fire

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May 2017

It's Mara who ends up calling her that night.

"Come quick. Corner of State and Park." Mara sounds out of breath, horns beeping in the background behind her. "Harry and Liam are both inside. I don't know what's going to happen. It's bad... it's really bad."

Joelle doesn't bother taking the T and dealing with changing trains and busy platforms. She hails a cab right outside her apartment and knows without a doubt that the hefty fee to travel across the city during rush hour would be a sacrifice she'd have to make.

The cabbie takes her as far as he can before he reaches a road barricade two blocks away from a wall of smoke. Joelle quickly tosses him all the cash she has before she takes off on foot, darting out into the night. The sidewalks are deserted, and once she spots the tower of soot that rises high above all the buildings, she picks up her speed and starts running.

She's never seen so many fire engines at one time. There are more trucks than Harry's station has, so other units must have been called for backup.

She stops suddenly on the pavement when she takes in the sight in front of her.

"Joelle!" a worried cry breaks through the disarray. "Look away! You need to get out of here!"

It's Mia, rushing over. She seems to move in slow motion as she crosses the street to get to Joelle's side. Joelle hardly spares her a glance before she desperately looks back to the building engulfed in flames higher than she's ever seen before.

In the back of her mind, somehow, she knew it would always come to this. This thing that she'd been ignoring for almost half a year now. This very real possibility that could bring about the end to absolutely everything.

Now, it's impossible to ignore, monopolizing her senses and insisting acknowledgment. She sees it in the way that Mia's face is glowing a bright orange as she stares at the building in front of them. She can feel it in the burning smolder across her skin–hot and unrelenting. The smell is pungent, and even if Mia's face and the heat showering her body didn't clue Joelle in enough to what's happening before them, there would be no mistaking the odor of smoke and burning wood.

Finally, she forces herself to turn her head and see the building as it truly is: a state of chaos similar to the crowd around it. Somewhere close by, a toddler cries out. There is already a fire engine at the scene; sirens and horns continue to blare from afar, signaling that at least one more is close and on the way. The sidewalk surrounding the building is wet, but evidently, nothing can soothe the flames that lick up the bricks of the building, bursting out of the windows.

It's unlike anything she's ever seen, and for the first time she allows herself to think it: this could be the fire that finally kills him.

Mia's arm firmly grasps her own. It shocks Joelle, shaken out of her stupor.

"Let's go!" she says, trying to tug her back towards the direction she came. "It's not safe here."

"Harry," Joelle demands. "Where is Harry?"

Mia doesn't look at her. "Come on, Jo. It's not good for us to be here."

"Mara called me," Joelle tells her, yanking her arm out of Mia's grip. "Is she okay?"

"I don't know where she is, I haven't seen her."

It's hard to stay in place when there's a sea of people rushing by them, away from the danger. Joelle's eyes stay fixated on the horror, knowing it would be best to look away but unable to force her head to turn.

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