say bye to me [soonhoon]

say bye to me

At 3pm, Jihoon wished that he was home.

He had so many things left to do - Composing, reviewing lyrics from the Hip-Hop Team, recording, touch-ups for his latest song.

That was his plan before Soonyoung asked him out for coffee.

"Jihoonie, you can't stay in your studio all day. Let's go for a walk."

He hadn't wanted to go, but Soonyoung's begging seemed ceaseless. To appease the stubborn dancer, he agreed.

It was cold out that day. They went to a small cafe at the end of the street. Soonyoung's favorite place. He always mentioned how cozy it was, how the fragrance of brewing coffee always put him in a good mood. Although it wasn't the case for Jihoon that day, it was something he would remember for a long time to come.

The whole time Soonyoung was babbling on about everything, Jihoon only had work on his mind. Composing, lyrics, recording. He thought about how maybe coming out with Soonyoung wasn't the best idea. Maybe he should have stayed home. Maybe then, Soonyoung would have too.

"Jihoon-ah, are you listening? The chocolate cake there was really good!"

"Uh... Yeah," He hid his face behind the mug that was too big for his hands, taking a sip of his warm coffee. "About the cake."

"It was unreal. I'll bring you sometime."

Jihoon remembers lowering the mug and watching the dancer's face light up in another one of his brilliant smiles - They always managed to make him feel better. Jihoon found something endearing about the dancer's thin eyes; They smiled along with him. He wasn't too sure what he would do now, though.

The composer didn't talk much while they were there. Soonyoung was usually good at keeping conversations going, but that day, Jihoon might have been a little quieter than usual. The blond started off chatty, but as the minutes passed, he had dulled down. Whenever Jihoon spoke, it was about work - About music. He didn't ask about how Soonyoung was doing. He didn't talk about himself.

Soonyoung must've felt like Jihoon wasn't interested in keeping their special bond anymore. Maybe at that time, he had made Soonyoung feel like just another someone.

"Hey. If there's really so much work you have left, you could've just told me..."

"I didn't because you were being such a stubborn prick." There was something about Soonyoung's statement that made Jihoon's blood boil. He should've known. He should've known that Jihoon was always busy - Jihoon only makes time for Soonyoung because he is so, so precious to the little composer. He didn't have to put it that way and make Jihoon sound like the bad guy, right? Soonyoung should've known. Jihoon prays that he did.

He remembers seeing Soonyoung go quiet for a moment, that radiant smile leaving his features. Jihoon shrinks in his seat - Had he hurt Soonyoung's feelings? If only he could tell him now that he didn't mean to.

"Look.... I just thought that it would be unhealthy for you to stay cooped up all day. I'm sorry."

No. I'm the one who's sorry.

-

At 5pm, Jihoon left the cafe. The sun was beginning to set. The skies darkened rather early in the autumn. On the streets were happy couples, laughing together while taking pictures and sharing ice cream. Kids who had just finished school were chasing one another down the lane, yelling at the top of their lungs as they ran. Parents with their children made their way home, faces filled with smiles as rosy as the sunset.

The composer noticed that Soonyoung had brushed their hands together. He doesn't respond, he pauses instead. Jihoon knows why he didn't. He was afraid, he was embarrassed. He was such an idiot.