A Bit of Fun

Chapter 7

Nine Years Later

"Honey, I'm home!" called Joker, throwing open the door to their hideout.

"Not so loud, puddin' – you'll wake 'em up!" whispered Harley, racing down the hall toward him. She kissed him, and then helped him off with his coat. "How's Batsy?" she asked.

"Still a sore loser," sighed Joker. "I left him standing in the wreckage of the hospital I'd just exploded staring at the ashes and lamenting his failure. Y'know, you'd think after all the times I let him win that he'd just cheer up and be a good sport on the rare occasions when I actually do win. How are the kiddy-winks doing?"

"Still sick," sighed Harley. "They must've picked up this bug at school. Y'know, sometimes I think we should have done what Johnny does with his kids and just home-schooled 'em."

"What, and have them turn out socially awkward freaks like Johnny's kids undoubtedly will?" demanded Joker. "Though with him as their father, that's fairly inevitable, home-school or no. Anyway, it's good for kids to build up immunities to diseases by getting exposed to stuff. That's why some parents have those chicken pox parties."

"And they call us crazy," sighed Harley, shaking her head. "At least we don't go out of our way to deliberately make our kids sick."

"Mmm, if they're anything like their Mommy and Daddy, they'll grow up that way naturally," murmured Joker, kissing her.

"Puddin', you're a bad boy!" giggled Harley. "C'mon, I'll go warm your dinner up..."

"Daddy?" called a voice from the bedroom down the hall.

Joker grinned. "I'll just go check on the kiddies first," he said, kissing Harley's forehead. He headed down the hall and opened the door to the bedroom. From the glow of the nightlight, he could see his twin children, Arleen and J.J., tucked into their bunk-beds, pale and sniffling but very clearly awake.

Joker pulled out a clown horn and honked it. "Here's the clown, come to cheer up the patients!" he said, entering their room. Harley smiled as she headed off to the kitchen to microwave Joker's dinner – she remembered when he had first said those words to her, a long time ago now and under very different circumstances. They had both come a very long way since then.

She popped the leftovers in the microwave, and then set a place for him at the dining room table. Bud and Lou lounged underneath, wagging their tails as she approached. The microwave beeped and Harley brought out the dinner, petted the hyenas, and then took a seat at the table to wait for Joker.

She was still waiting an hour later when the Joker finally emerged from the twins' room. "Your dinner's got cold," she commented.

"So just nuke it again," retorted Joker. "The kiddies said a story would make them feel better, and even I ain't heartless enough to refuse my own kiddies' request from a sickbed."

"They doing ok?" Harley asked, getting up to reheat the plate again.

"Yeah, they still look a little pale and clammy, but the fevers are gone," said Joker. "And they're sleeping now. J.J. said he feels like his nose is the source of a never-ending river of snot, and his head's the tissue dispenser that got clogged in it."

"That's a very vivid image," commented Harley.

"Yeah, the kid's a natural born storyteller," chuckled Joker. "Just like his old man. Course it figures that the spawn of my loins would turn out just like me."

"That's a very vivid image too," said Harley, kissing him as she put the plate down in front of him.

Joker sighed, looking down at the food. "All these years and you still can't cook. Why do I keep putting up with you, you dumb blonde?"

"Dunno," said Harley, grinning. "I'm just a bit of fun, after all. You could probably find a much better gal for you out there, one who would be a good cook and everything."

"Probably," agreed Joker. "So don't you forget how lucky you are that I keep ya around, toots."

"Likewise, Mr. J," retorted Harley, taking a seat on his lap.

"How do you expect me to eat with you right there?" demanded Joker.

"Creatively," she replied with a smile.

He glared at her, but then adjusted her onto his knee with one arm around her waist while he ate with one hand. Harley nestled into the crook of his arm, leaning against his shoulder and beaming.

"What are you so happy about?" he demanded. "Your kids are sick – don't that mean nothing, you heartless dame? What kinda terrible mother are you, huh?"

"It's just a little cold - they're gonna be ok in a couple days," she murmured. "They got you to take care of 'em, after all, so they'll be recovered in no time."

"Yeah, at least one of us is a good parent," he agreed.

"I told you you would be," retorted Harley.

"All right, Little Miss I-Told-You-So," snapped Joker. "Think you know everything, doncha?"

"I knew you'd be a good Daddy," said Harley, nodding. "Because you been a great one to me all these years."

He snorted. "Didn't have to be, y'know," he muttered. "Coulda thrown you out years ago."

"You coulda," agreed Harley. "But you didn't."

"Nope," agreed Joker. "But you were just a bit of fun, y'know."

"And what am I now?" she asked.

He shrugged. "Still fun, I guess. But you're also the mother of my children, so I can't very well throw you out now. So I guess I'm stuck with you for good."

"Guess you are," agreed Harley.

"Just my luck," he said. "Take a worthless little brat in for a bit of fun and get stuck with her for life. What did I ever do to deserve you, Harley?"

Harley shrugged. "I guess something good somewhere along the line."

"Yeah," agreed Joker. "Don't spread that around, though. I got a reputation to preserve."

"Secret's safe with me, puddin'," murmured Harley, kissing him tenderly. He put down his fork, wrapping both arms around her waist and pulling her back into his lap. Harley drew her arms around his neck, sighing in happiness.

"Daddy?" said a voice from the doorway. Their daughter Arleen was standing there, teddy bear in hand. "Can you come tuck me in again? Mr. Bear fell outta bed so I had to get up and get him, and now I ain't tucked in no more."

"Sure thing, princess," said Joker, as Harley climbed off him. "But this time you gotta really try to go to sleep, so you'll get better quicker. Daddy misses his smiling, happy girl when she ain't her usual, cheerful self – it's like somebody took away his sunshine."

"I'll get better soon, Daddy, I promise," said Arleen as Joker picked her up and carried her back to bed. "I'm not mean – I wouldn't wanna take away your sunshine for long."

He kissed her. "Daddy loves his smiling, happy girl," he whispered. "Both of 'em," he added, winking at Harley.

Harley sighed happily as she cleared away the dishes. Her and the Joker's relationship had never been what other people would call ideal, and they had always had more than their fair share of ups and downs. But she had never dreamed she could ever be as happy as she was now. She never could have imagined at the beginning that they would end up with everything she had ever wanted and more. She never could have foreseen that the man so reluctant to even share his bed with her was now sharing his life completely with her. It was crazy, and, like all crazy things in Harley's experience, it was utterly and completely perfect.

Not bad for a bit of fun thought Harley with a smile. Not bad at all.

The End