Broken

She'd been shot.... There was nothing he could do as he watched her body fly backwards smacking into a wall hard as her body absorbed the bullet hitting her and the impact with the wall. It was a sickening sound hearing her hit and bones crack, but again... he couldn't do anything. Voight had switched up the partners and he didn't have her back that day. He'd been across the room. All he could do was watch... watch as it slowly unfolded in front of him... as it all changed for them that day.

2 hours later

Jay had cleared the scene and left without telling anyone. He was going to Med. He needed to know how she was. They might be on a break; might have been apart for a couple of weeks, but she was still his partner, his girl, and he had to know how she was doing.

As he walked in the door of the emergency department, he was met with Maggie's sympathetic sad smile. He saw Voight pacing across the way, but he couldn't bring himself to face his boss. It was his fault after all that Jay wasn't protecting her. In a way he blamed Voight for her being hurt in the first place.

He heard Maggie call for Will as Jay debated on barging in rooms looking for her. He just needed to know what was happening. He felt Will's hand grip his shoulder and spin him to face him. "Will," he whispered unable to say anymore as he took in his brother's face.

"Come on," Will said quietly leading him into an open exam room.

"Erin? She was brought in Will. I gotta find her. I need to know how she is," he rambled as Will put both of his hands on Jay's shoulders to steady him.

"I know. I saw her when she came in. She's in ICU buddy. The damage was rough. Rhodes put her in a coma to help her heal."

"Oh god. How.... how bad?" He asked turning more pale then normal as he scrubbed a hand over his face.

"Jay.... I'm... I'm sorry.... It's not looking good. Her body was heavily damaged from the bullet and the impact. She has several cracked ribs. Her lung collapsed. Her shoulder was dislocated. Her pelvis was cracked... the damage was extensive..."

"She's gonna be ok though right? She has to be Will, she does," Jay said tears forming in his eyes.

"Jay, buddy I don't know. It's pretty critical right now."

Jay's head dropped as he tried to hold in his emotions. Will took a deep breath knowing he had more to tell. "Jay... there's more," Will whispered squeezing his brother's shoulders tight.

"What else could there be?" He said desperately feeling his heart rate increasing.

"Jay.... this isn't easy to tell you... Erin... was pregnant. She was about eight weeks... They... they did all the could but the damage was just too extensive. They couldn't save the baby."

Jay's body seemed frozen. He'd heard his brother's words, but he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Erin had been pregnant, with his baby, their baby.... and now it was gone. There wasn't a baby any more because she'd gotten hurt. Because he hadn't had her back. He'd let her down. He'd let his baby down... and it was a costly let down. Now he didn't have a baby and Erin's life was in the balance. She might not make it either.

Will watched as it all slowly sunk in with his brother. How he went from rigid and barely breathing to an emotional mess that was on the verge of one of his infamous panic attacks that could be dangerous. Will reached for him as Jay pulled away trying to get out as his tears flowed and his heart shattered. He couldn't let him leave. He couldn't let his brother sink out of his grasp again.

"Jay... Jay.... Jay wait!" Will said trying to wrap his arms around his brother. Jay was beyond inconsoible and Will did not want him leaving. Jay shoved against him as the tears continued to flow unchecked.