"And fuck me for crying over spilled milk I never planned on drinking." -Jhene aiko
Maybe it was the simple fact I loved you when "they" told me not to. Even if you didn't have your shit together or even figured out for that matter. I just simply loved you for you. Now I hate you, the fact that i let you break down my walls even when it was barely standing stable. You cried on my shoulder when I was drowning in my own sorrow.
I dropped down at your feet with lust. Looking for something that I though I'd never find. Searching and digging in all the wrong places behold it was you. My mistake was dusting you off while I still had gravel on myself from the last situations i put myself into. Abusing me with this four letter word that you didn't even know the meaning to. Anything to build yourself up while tearing me down worse than before.
Maybe I saw something in you that nobody else did. The truth is I knew you better than you knew yourself. As your pain poured out it leaked onto me. Making me drown even more. Thinking that you were the only thinking keeping me afloat not realizing you were the anchor. Slowly killing me but stupid me for thinking you were the only thing keeping me alive.
I trusted you more than you trusted yourself. Provided things for you I couldn't even give myself. No longer saying the four letter word that put us both in this fucked up situation. Truly feeling as if it was even real to begin with. We broke each other down not willing to rebuild. Leaving us with nothing a mess to clean ourselves.
Every fairytale must come to a end. Mines sadly ended how it all began. Looking for a Prince Charming but falling for the beast. Looking through a window that looked perfectly fine not knowing the mess inside. So thank you four letter word for building me and breaking me. You were actually the thing that made me.
I truly don't know what this book will lead to. I just wrote at 12am with nothing but thoughts listening to depressing music. :)
