"All I want is to love and be loved."
-Nicki Minaj
You were something like the sun, warmth glistening on my skin. Making me feel as if this feeling was enteral. I soon realized it couldn't be as grey clouds formed. Trying not to dwell on the past just praying to feel the warmth and happiness of the sun again. The clouds turned into a storm and never left. I tried coping with this i even tried to make my own version of the warmth you gave me.
All I did was fail. Turning the clouds into a darker grey than before. Putting up a smile that was for your satisfaction. Caught up in your universe. Hesitating of leaving. Questioning myself of why did I ever think of doing such. Begging you to just blame me for all of it just for you to bring the sun back.
Just wanting to hear the words you once formed. When you used to cry for my help during your worsen nightmares. Maybe I didn't deserve you. I thought as if you were so predictable but truly you were more mysterious than me. Parted with loneliness only to fall short of myself. Back to square one with nothing but a damaged heart and scars to go from.
All I truly wanted was you. Telling myself "I'll be fine. I'm better off without you anyhow." Truly I need you to stay alive, just your glisten. You gave me a feelings I truly never felt before. Even with all the grayness made me want you you even more. Letting my tears and on to your storm not noticing it was killing you more.
