rose tinted cheeks♡syh + jjh

one

the fall of '88
jaehyun's pov

— it wasn't like i cared much when my father would yell at me, even if it ended with my collar suffocating in his grip. however, this particular day wasn't destined to be a good one. the air was more dense, like the molecules weren't small enough to get into my bloodstream. my eyes burned as they bored into my father's. i wondered how someone who looked almost identical to me could be so different, could be someone i disagreed with everyday.

"stop it! you both act like little kids." my mother whined as she gripped my shoulder softly, trying to pull me away from our staring contest but i wouldn't budge. i had to show my father that i wasn't one to mess with. even if i was his son, i wasn't going to live another year in that house if it felt like prison.

"don't try to pull him away, let him go. maybe he'll finally be man enough to hit me." his eyebrows seemed to taunt me, switching every which way as if they were mocking my moves. it was strategic in a way, like a chess game. i didn't know how to play chess. i, of course, didn't figure that this was a trap. and i was the fish, he was simply preparing me for his next meal.

a hard thwacking sound resonated around the room followed by a feminine gasp from my family members that gathered around like it was an mma fight. a tingling sensation ran through my body as i glared at everyone, a long gaze lingering on who i despised the most who just happened to be holding his jaw in half disbelief and half satisfaction that he got the reaction.

my mother, her worried eyes covered by the curls that fell into her face, shuffled over to me, her house slippers making scraping sounds against the worn out wood beneath our feet. she held onto my arm for dear life as she watched my father, her eyes frantically shifting in case she had to block me from his hits. but i was tired of being protected from someone who i no longer could be afraid of. i was getting older and hiding from the boogie monster wasn't going to make it go away.

i tugged my arm away from her numbing grasp giving her a warning look. i shoved everyone forcefully out of my way to my small closet of a room in the back, where i planned to stay the rest of the day, however things never went in my favor. "shit." i muttered as i spied my watch watching as the minute hand clicked over to the five.

i haphazardly slipped on my sneakers which were tattered on the bottom of the soles, along with my school blazer that had a name tag attached above the breast pocket. the syllables for my name in thin black strokes on the gold plate.

"you'd better leave now, dad's gone to the bathroom to get ready." my brother, doyoung, warned me with large eyes rolling to the side as if he was watching his own back. however, he was watching mine and i always cherished these little things. when we aren't continuously firing shots at each other or giving each other nasty glares, it really seemed like we were somewhat of a family.

i nodded solemnly, brushing past him before discreetly trudging to the kitchen where my mom stood, preparing what looked to be lunch, which wasn't for me since i always got school lunch. her hands were slow but dexterous, never missing a beat, the knife being her drumstick, the onion her snare.

"jae, will you eat anything before you go?" that voice, dripping like chocolate into my ears. it trembled just a bit. but so did my breaths, i hadn't known she noticed my presence. i guess it is true about a mother having eyes in the back of her head. or maybe she was an actual psychic. in that case, i wondered if i had the same ability. maybe i'd see the future and avoid the problems that i dig myself into.

"no, i'll be late if i don't get going." the curtains separating my eyes from the view of the outside glowed a grayish color. her eyes never left her hands, my answer not even fazing her one bit as she kept cooking, humming a tune i couldn't quite grasp at the moment. "see ya, ma." i awkwardly waved, my hands having a mind of their own and moving more robotically than i would have liked them to.