almost lovers - bill skarsgård

v. real life

skype call with esmeralda!, harper, caroline, and gwen.

caroline:
bitch wake up

esmeralda!:
if I was sleep I wouldn't have answered. what's up?

harper:
did you get the goods?

esmeralda!:
what are the goods?
Harper, are you talking about drugs again?
...
oh. harper! no! you perv.

gwen:
forget the goods, give us the details!
how was it?

esmeralda!:
it was good. I'm really proud of the kids, they did so well. and pennywise was freaky af, but I'm so impressed. they deserve all the hype.

gwen:
not the movie. the date with Bill, honey!

esmeralda!:
it wasn't a date? even if it was, it was probably a pity date.

caroline:
are you out of your mind?
you looked amazing! he couldn't stop looking at you.

esmeralda!:
looking at me because I am his pity care package.

harper:
i'm really about to hang this phone up and fly from my tour to beat you up. you are not a pity baby.

gwen:
i second that emotion. you're so amazing and deserve so much love. like I'm not even kidding.

caroline:
[ sneezes ]
sorry! but I agree, babes.

esmeralda!:
i don't know guys. it's just that he can do significantly better.

harper:
you're literally as good as they come. if he ignored you, he's making a mistake that is more defined than his cheekbones.

esmeralda!:
i got to go. my father is calling. and he's talking in the groot voice.

caroline:
okay. talk to you later?

esmeralda!:
yeah.

esmeralda! has left the skype call.

harper:
I feel bad now.

gwen:
why?

harper:
so, when I was writing last week with Jeff, he said he got an audition to play mer's love interest.

caroline:
who?

gwen:
don't tell me.

harper:
it was....

caroline:
if you don't tell us who it is I swear to god I'll jump through the phone.

harper:
bill. and when jeff asked for my opinion, I told him it would be a great idea.

caroline:
...
oh shit.

gwen:
I don't see why this is a problem.
my ship better get their asses in gear so I can officially be the captain of #merill.

caroline:
we need to work on better ship names.

harper:
at least it isn't something gross like eill or bem.

gwen:
what about balda?

caroline:
...
um. let's put a pin in it, okay honey?

gwen:
don't you honey me.

harper:
uh too late.

gwen:
it's never too late for me to end this call.

caroline:
bet you won't?

gwen has left the skype call!

caroline:
she actually did it.

harper:
did you think she was bluffing?
wait don't answer that.
I'm just gonna...

harper has left this skype call!

caroline:
we're friends they say
leave me in the call by myself
ugh
all my friends are dead

caroline has ended the skype call!