One stolen night - Tris pov

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I turned around and walked away from the crowd. There was no way I could have stayed there any longer, hearing them discuss whether I should go to Erudite to turn myself in to Jeanine and whatever she wanted to do to me. There was nowhere to go to be alone except the small room Tobias and I had been assigned to stay in while we were living with the factionless and the group of loyal Dauntless.

I immediately went over to our bed, sat down on the woollen blanket and laid my head in my hands. It was all too much to process. No matter how I turned things over in my head, trying to figure out my options, it all came down to me going to Erudite. Marlene died because of me today. I still couldn't believe this has truly happened.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed when I heard Tobias come in and close the door behind him. I couldn't bear to look up, wanted to avoid his gaze, but I felt his eyes on me while he slowly walked over to the bed and sat down opposite me, close enough for me to lay my head on his shoulder. Having him close to me felt comforting.

"I know what you're thinking," he whispered half into my ear, half into my hair, "I'm not gonna let you do it."

He knew me so well by now that I didn't stand a chance of hiding my intentions, so I sat up straight to finally look him in the eye when I tried to explain myself. He seemed to know what I was about to say because he sighed in frustration.

"I can't let anyone else die because of me."

"No one else is gonna die because of you. Tori is gonna find a way to disable the disks."

I really wanted to believe him, but he couldn't know if Tori's plan was going to work or not. Nobody could, actually. "And if she doesn't?" I asked.

Tobias was searching for words, his eyes darting back and forth between mine. He sighed again before saying, "And if she doesn't, we'll figure it out." His gaze was intense. "Together," he added, raising his eyebrows.

"You know I'm just one person," I whispered, slightly shaking my head. "I'm not worth it."

"No, you are worth it. You are worth it to me," Tobias replied.

Tears welled up in my eyes, but I felt no need to wipe them away or hide them from him, since he already seemed to be able to look into my very soul anyway when he declared, "I love you."

I couldn't help smiling at his confession. His words sounded like a melody in my ears and went directly into my heart. The love I felt for him was strong and kept growing every day we spent together, and right now I was overwhelmed by it. There were no words to express what I felt in this moment, so I leaned forward just a little and stretched my arms out to touch his face with my hands. I tried to put everything he meant to me in my gaze, wanting him to know how special he was to me, and then I kissed him. It was just a short kiss to tell him what I was feeling, but the moment my lips left his I wanted to kiss him again, and so I did, holding him close to me with one hand on his shoulder and the other in his hair.

Suddenly the energy between us shifted as the kiss became more intense and he put one of his hands in my hair. I wanted to be close to him, to hold him as tight as I could and never let him go again. He put a hand on my back, caressing me, and then pulled me onto his lap and into his strong arms. It felt good and soothing and comforting, but there was also something else in this gesture, something intimate that made me want more of this.

I stopped the kiss, looked at him and took a deep breath, trying to calm myself and to work up the courage to do what I wanted to do next. With my hands slightly shaking I slowly pulled the zipper of my shirt down, well aware that I wasn't wearing anything underneath it, just me. Tobias kept his eyes locked to mine the whole time, what I was thankful for, but deep inside I knew he must have loved to watch my hands opening my shirt and, even more, the skin I exposed to him. I wasn't afraid anymore, or at least I didn't want to be, because there were so many bad things in the world around us that it seemed stupid, really, to be afraid of being with the one you love. And perhaps tonight might be our only opportunity left to do this.

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