one hundred sleepless nights//klance

Chapter Six

"Miss me?"

I rolled my eyes when I saw him, leaning against the door frame like some character from a high school romance. Hands in his pockets, he stepped over to stand right in front of me. His shirt was wrinkled in all sorts of places, as if he'd just woken up from a nap. He looked good. He always looked good, no matter what he was wearing. I noticed dark circles under his eyes but didn't think much of it after I saw that he was trying his damn hardest not to smile. He seemed happier for whatever reason. There was a thought in the back of my mind that maybe he enjoyed these nights as much as I did but I wouldn't listen to it. He would stop bothering to talk to me the moment Allura told us whatever this was, was over.

Wouldn't he?

"You wish."

I did.

I couldn't will those words out of my mouth. Maybe because of how true they were. I'd been pacing around earlier just beyond his door. My heart had been racing, arms shaking, tiny beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. Every time I tried to get closer, this feeling in my chest stopped me. It was as if I would've stopped breathing, had I gone any closer. I wanted to see him. I wanted to talk to him for hours about everything. I wanted to understand why we hadn't clicked and what had changed so that we did. I wanted to know all of the trouble he'd gotten into at the Garrison, aside from late night pizza outings. I wanted to know the best memories of his life and the worst. I wanted him to feel comfortable around me. Questions were bubbling up in my mind to ask him as they had earlier but they wouldn't let themselves pass my lips. Instead they stayed, hidden in my vocal cords, where I figured they'd be for a long time. It was always easier when Keith started the conversation. I didn't have to think of what might upset him or what he'd find dumb. I could talk without feeling like the walls of my organs were closing in on me, as if the world was confined to something smaller than myself. I took a seat on his bed as always and he sat next to me.

"You're quieter than usual, McClain." He let out a breath, as if he'd been holding it in this whole time. "Something on your mind?"

"You know my full name?"

He nodded, chuckling to himself. He had one of those laughs that you couldn't quite hear. It was the ghost of his real laugh but I knew I'd hear it soon enough. Now that I started to think about it, I don't think he laughed once before we spent these nights together. Had he been laughing more lately? I wondered if I should ask the others about it. If I was going crazy or if Keith seemed to be reclaiming some lost joy in his life. It was either that or on my end, with this weird new light that seemed to radiate from him. There was this feeling I got whenever I was around him now that I couldn't quite grasp. Where his voice used to make the blood inside me boil, it now lulled me into a trance. Instead of teasing him, I wanted to compliment him. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to smile because of me. It was the first time I admitted that to myself. I couldn't tell if my expression changed or he could tell but I must've done something, for he aimed a blank stare in my direction.

"What're you staring at?" I jumped a bit at his words. They sounded harsh but he quickly corrected himself. "I mean, are you okay? You keep staring off into space."

"Kinda hard not to considering where we are."

"You got me there." 

"Something's been on my mind since last night." I laid myself down on his bed, legs stretching out before me. This was the reason I'd been outside earlier. One of the many questions I'd had on my mind but this was important. I didn't know what to think of it and only he had the answer. "The night of the sleepover."

"Yeah." He stretched himself out as he laid down like me. Something had switched in his tone. It was vulnerable. I wondered if I was the only one who got to hear it. "What about it?"