logolepsy 》k.h.b. iKON

k.h.b.//imbroglio

(579) 105-0729

imbroglio (n.): an altercation or complicated situation

09:35 a.m.

the buzz of hanbin's call phone was not what roused him from sleep.

it was the door to the coat closet opening and yoo-rin's flawless face staring down at him in contempt. she was well aware of his hiding in closet habit as it was his go-to after their passive-aggressive one-sided arguments and there had been plenty of times she'd come to the closet the next morning to grab a jacket and found hanbin huddled there from the previous night.

she'd never said aloud that she found it weak and pathetic, but she didn't have to. hanbin could see it in her eyes.

he couldn't help it.

when he was stressed, small, dark rooms (closets, especially) helped him relax. he always hid there when he was small enough to be scared of thunderstorms but big enough to know that boys, for some reason, shouldn't be.

now, as an adult, he wasn't really afraid of thunderstorms but yoo-rin made him feel all the things that drove him into dark spaces when he was little. Fear. uncertainity. helplessness.

she was the thunderstorm of his adulthood.

"i'm going out." she said simply, stiffly taking a pair of white sandals from the floor next to them and slipping them onto her pale, bony feet, already beginning to glide towards the front door like hanbin was of absolutely no importance.

"where are you going?" he asked quietly, now standing to his near six-foot height, notebook and phone in hand as he closed the closet door, shame burning red-hot on his cheeks.

yoo-tin scoffed, not even turning around as she threw a icy, nonchalant, "none of your business." over her shoulder and closed the door behind her with a bit more force than necessary, enough to let him know that while she didn't particularly care that he was mad, she thought he had no right to be concerned with anything going on in her life.

hanbin sighed, leaning against the closet door and running a hand down his face slowly, making sure to stretch out his facial features as much as possible as if that could make the stress just pour from his body.

if only it actually worked that way.

hanbin's eyes flashed down to his phone, the flashing blue light in the corner indicating the unread message that hanbin was happy to read if it meant a distraction from the inner turmoil that always came with even glimpsing his girlfriend now.

he couldn't help but let out a little laugh when he saw the new word from the same number as before.

(579) 105-0728

Where exactly do you find these words?

09:42 a.m.

he was a bit shocked to receive a reply almost instantly.

(579) 105-0729

Dude, there's this amazing thing called the iNteRNeT! You should totally try it sometime!

09:42 a.m.

(579) 105-0728

Goodbye.

09:43 a.m.

(579) 105-0729

No, wait!

09:44 a.m.

(579) 105-0729

New friend!

09:44 a.m.

(579) 105-0729

Come back!

09:44 a.m.

(579) 105-0729

BABY COME BACK!

09:46 a.m.

(579) 105-0729

YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON MEEE!

09:47 a.m.

hanbin couldn't help but let out a snort as ringtone went off for a second and he briefly saw june's name flash across the screen before deftly dragging his thumb across the smooth glass to answer the call.

"what's up, man?"

"come get coffee with me." junhoe demanded curtly, the clamor in the background telling hanbin that he was already headed to whatever cafe he had in mind.

hanbin sighed, rolling his eyes. it was no use refusing. it was rare enough to get junhoe out of his house when he didn't have to work, much less to get him to invite one of them out. nevermind that it was more of a demand, that was just how junhoe asked.

besides if there was one thing hanbin could use right now, it was a distraction. coffee didn't sound too bad either.

"alright, where at?"

junhoe gave the location of the cafe and hanbin vaguely remembered it. owned by two hybrid siblings. a tiny cat-boy and an even tinier fox-girl.

he'd sometimes catch passing glances of her in the large windows of the cafe, usually arranging beautiful flower vases on the cafe tables with the most content smile hanbin had ever seen.

she reminded him of himself when he was making music.

"ok, there in ten."

junhoe gave a non-committal grunt before the line went dead and hanbin rolled his eyes once more.

it was involuntary for him to linger there at his apartment in the entrance to the closet, taking way longer than necessary to shrug on the first hoodie he lay his hands on.

he always did this. waited around in multitudes of tiny ways for yoo-rin to come back. to run her fingers through his hair and tell him that everything would be ok. she never did.

just as well. it would've just been a lie anyways.

6/7/17

it could be a combination of things that repel her from me, really. i'm not a real man, just some little kid hiding in the closet. crying. god, you should see the way she looks at me when i cry. i'm not good-looking like june or bobby-hyung. i don't know what else to do. i want to see omma. i want to hear her voice. i want to ask her what i should do to keep my first love. but i know what she will say. sweet lies. that it's not my fault. that i should leave her. but i love her. you can't leave the ones you love. that's what breaks hearts.

-k.h.b.