The Van Pact

25: Valerie

"Well, you gave it your best shot," I said. "That's all a person can do."

"Why did I agree to this," Stevie clutched her abdomen. "I'm going to be sick."

It probably wasn't theatrics this time. Stevie did look green.

"You think I feel good?" Jan looked greener than Stevie, actually. "I ironed his face onto my shirt. MY SHIRT." His shoulders slumped. "When am I ever going to wear this again?"

"So he didn't show up," Jesse shrugged, "you might see him live and-"

"I WASTED a perfectly good shirt," Jan flung his head backwards into his seat at the opposite side of our booth in the front of the Arby's. Jan's a great guy, but also a total drama queen. "I look like such an idiot."

"Well, I mean," Carla squinted, "you didn't have to add the 'Look who's insaney for John Mulaney!' all over the front."

Jesse snorted. Stevie was covering her mouth, though probably less because she was gonna giggle and more because she had to burp. I bit my cheek to keep from laughing. Things were about to take a turn, I could tell, and I didn't want to do anything to put myself in the middle of that.

"You're supposed to support me," Jan groaned at Carla. "I have dreams and ambitions too, you know."

"Jan," Carla's lips looked very small, "catching a glimpse of John Mulaney's hair through the window of an Arby's does not qualify as a dream nor an ambition."

"I love him," Jan poked his chest. "He's everything I wish I was. And I'm too poor to see his show, so what am I supposed to do?"

"Get a job and pay for tickets?" Carla set an elbow on the table, "like a normal person."

Yup. There was the turn. I tried to send Stevie a let's roll face, so she'd stand up and we could get out of our side of the booth, but she was too busy staring at the foil wrappers piled up on her tray.

"Firstly," Jan stuck up his index finger, "it's perfectly normal to stalk around places that your celebrity idols are going to be. Everybody does it. Why do you think they have social media accounts?" Before anybody could say anything, he stuck up his middle finger too. "Second, I have a job-"

"A job pays you money, Jan." Carla massaged her temples.

"I got twenty-thousand views on my last video. It's almost at the point it'll make sense to monetize and-"

"You weren't even in your last video. It wasn't even your idea!"

I noticed Jesse staring at me. He bobbled his head almost imperceptibly-slowly, and bugged his eyes like he was gonna go berserk. What can ya do? I mouthed back.

He smirked, then threw his gaze up and behind me, past the big front windows of the Arby's, beyond the brown-checkered tiles and fake plastic palm trees of the Whitegate mall, and into the independent comic book store directly across from where we sat. A store that apparently John Mulaney was expected to stop in while he was in town for his comedy tour. That is, if Jan's sources were to be believed. The Whitegate mall is basically bankrupt. Half the lots are empty, and the franchises that have kept in business are eerie in their desolation. You make your own opinions, but I don't think that Jan's sources are to be believed.