The Anti-Feminist Diary

I Bought You Flowers

(Paul's POV)

*Click* My finger grazed the light switch without needing to look at it. The familiar movement reminded my muscles where the white trigger lied.

I pulled the beanie off of my head, dusting the snow off before hanging it in the closet next to my coat.

"Honey, I'm h-" I stopped myself.

"Home so early?" Her body stood there by the kitchen sink, back turned to me. She fit right into my view just like how she used to.

"Yeah." I couldn't help but answer. It was her voice I was hearing, the voice I've been longing to hear, of course I was going to answer.

"But today's a Tuesday, aren't you suppose to be on overtime for Dandy's college fund?" There was a hint of humor in her tone, but mostly there was concern.

"Yeah, but I had to go somewhere. Plus, I don't think she'll mind if I skipped a day or two." A hot liquid shot up and burnt the back of my throat and nostrils, tears were welling up just above them.

"Oh, where did you go?" She said, finally turning around to face me. She placed her hands at the edge of the sink, as if she was about to hop and sit on it. My heart stopped for a second and my knees felt like Jello. This woman still looked as beautiful as she did when I watched her walk down the isle. I could barely hold the tears because of it.

"I went out to buy some candles. I brought you flowers too, did you see them?" I asked curiously. I wanted to know if I've been wasting money annually for nothing. But even if she hasn't been seeing them, I don't think I'll ever stop sending her flowers.

"Yes, they were lovely. I left them with Dandy, he seemed to love them." She replied sweetly.

"Oh, where is she? I want to see her." I said, slowly advancing towards my wife.

"I left him at his bed, let him rest." She denied me of my request, like how the universe did.

"Oh." I said, glumly looking down on the floor.

"Don't be sad, I'm still here." I heard her feet shuffle on the wooden floor she had begged me to get when we were still planning for construction.

Then I saw them, her hands, snaking their way around my shoulders to the back of my neck. She rested her featherweight head on my chest where it had always fit. "Let's go upstairs, I've missed you." Her soft and gentle voice could've been drowned out by the silence of the wind if it was anyone else, but since it was me who her words were directed to , I heard them loud and clear.

I held her tightly, rolling on top of her just so she wouldn't have any chances of escaping my embrace. Our tongues met in a heated chase, our lips have been longing for the longest times so now there was no letting go. Well, I tried. But my damned lungs just needed a few huffs of air.

I finally gave in and rolled over, arms hovering above my torso, where her hips just were. But just like that, as quick as the oxygen had entered my bloodstream , she left. And just like that, I was as depressed, maybe even more now as I was back then, when I heard the news that she was gone.

The thought of losing the person you love twice just sank in, and to say that it's maddening is an understatement. I had just kissed my dead wife's ghost and the sad part was that for a moment, I thought it was real.

I really must be mad.

And Dandy, that babe, I never even knew whether she was a boy or not. I wanted it to be girl, but she wanted it to be a boy. But I guess it really was a boy... She's been with him for three years now, and she kept saying "him" and "he". I wonder what he looks like. Does he have my hair? Oh I wish he had his mother's eyes. I guess I'll never know...unless she comes back and takes him with her next time.

Will she come back though? I guess that's the real question.

I don't think I'll be patient enough. Seeing her today just made me want to be with her again even more.

Why did she even come?

Maybe its because I bought her sunflowers instead of white roses, her favorite. Maybe I'll bring her more next time.