Junai

Pure Love: Chapter 1」

Long after that, I believed that it had been a fated encounter. If I didn't believe that the events of those several days – the days when I was isolated from the 'reality' I had previously lived – were 'tossed by fate', then my body and mind would be crushed from shock. Now that I had finally crawled out from that darkness, I was trying to return back to living in the real world by convincing myself that what had happened had been due to fate. From then on, in order for me to continue living as myself, I tried to forget those days and reach Enlightenment1.
The days that could only be called – the descent into a fated distortion.

****

The deadline, which happened once every several months, was approaching, and I, a systems engineer (S.E), had been busy completing everything on time. Ahh, I don't feel good, I thought to myself, but that's natural considering I had only gotten three hours of sleep per day for several days up until now.
When I realized that I was going to be late for work, I dashed up the stairs to try to get on the train, which had arrived at the platform, but it appeared that this was a bad idea. Suddenly, I was blacking out, so I grasped the stair railing to support myself. The crowd of people around me kept rushing by me as if I was just getting in their way. I heard the sound of the train leaving the platform overhead and accepted the fact that I will be late. I will just have to catch the next train, which was going to arrive soon, but I couldn't even keep my head up. I felt that I was having a minor anemic attack. Cold sweat dripped down from my forehead and everything went black before me. I have to at least reach the top of the stairs, I thought, but I couldn't get my legs to go forward at all, so I just crouched down on the spot for a while, still holding on to the stair railing.
At that moment, I heard, "Are you alright?"
Someone was supporting my back while whispering to me in a low voice. There are kind people in this society! 'I'm alright', I tried to answer the kind person, but in reality, I wasn't 'alright' at all. I couldn't even speak.
"...You don't look alright."
It seemed like the kind person could tell my condition just by looking at me. He began muttering to himself.
"Can you walk? We'll get trampled over if we stay here. Let's go up to the top of the platform," he said and grabbed me by my arms, trying to force me to stand up.
"I'm sorry...," I finally managed to breathe out as I lifted my head and looked at the kind man's face.
"Take it easy." He was peering at me and had a smile on his face when our eyes met. What a good-looking face, I thought. Even in my current condition, I couldn't help but be instantly mesmerized by his face. At the same time, I felt that I was losing consciousness and accidentally collapsed into the man's chest.
"Are you alright?!" The man's frantic voice sounded distant to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the bag that I had been holding tumble down the stairs. Ahh, I need to pick it up, I thought, but I couldn't get my body to move. And with that, I lost complete consciousness.

****

I woke up to the sound of the commotion around me. My forehead felt incredibly cool. Ahh, that feels good, I thought as I parted my eyes open.
"Didn't anyone notice you?"
As my field of sight returned, a young, attractive man was peering straight at me. He had a small beauty mark next to his mouth, and he smiled at me with relief. The moment I noticed the beauty mark, it somehow reminded me of something.
"Are you alright?"
I didn't know for how long I had been staring at him absentmindedly, mesmerized by his face when the man, sounding worried, asked me that.
"Ah......yes...," I answered, coming back to my senses, but then immediately I was captivated again by the young man's beautiful face as he peered at me.
How could I think that a man's face is 'beautiful'? But the man before me was indeed really beautiful. His skin was white, which made me think he must be half- Japanese, and there was a shine in his large black eyes. He had long eyelashes that cast a shadow beneath his eyes and slightly pink cheeks that complimented his moist, red lips in an extremely charming way.
Of course I had never thought a man to be 'charming' or anything like that until now. He peered at me and pushed my bangs out of my face with his long, slender fingers. It felt nice and cool because his hands were cold as he rested the palm of his hand on my forehead. It startled me to think anything like that about a man, and I was so at a loss of words that I surprised even myself. At that moment, the bell rang signaling the departure of the train, and I finally came to my senses.
"I'm sorry......!" I quickly tried to sit up, because I had been laying on the bench that stood on the platform. I had lost consciousness by the stairs, so the man must have carried me all the way here. As I tried to sit up, I looked at his rather slender physique, feeling bad that he had to do that for me.
"You shouldn't get up too quickly." The man placed his hand on my chest and gently stopped me from siting up. "How do you feel? You're still pale...are you alright?"
As his hand supported my back, his beautiful face came closer to mine, and for some reason, I grew flustered.
"I'm alright," I answered and forced myself to look away from him. Out of the corner of my eye, the beauty mark by his mouth caught my attention. All of a sudden, a familiar face came to my mind, and inadvertently I quietly exclaimed, "Ah!"
I gazed intensely at the man's face in a new light.
"......What's the matter?" The man asked, slightly frowning and probably wondering what was wrong as I stared at him.
"...Suzuki-kun?"
The small beauty mark by the mouth, symmetric facial features, and large dark eyes were all something I had seen before when I was a child and now, it clearly came to me.
"...How do you know that name?" He was so surprised at my quiet outburst that his face changed color.
"...You're Suzuki-kun from elementary school at Kunitachi, right? We were in the same class. It's me, Shimizu."
I felt his grip on my shoulder relax, so I sat up by myself and peered intensely at his face as I told him my name.
"...Shimizu-kun......" The man – Suzuki – said my name hoarsely.
What a coincidence this was! How many years has it been since we've seen each other? I thought, calculating the years in my head. We hadn't seen each other since he had transferred schools during the summer we were six grade elementary students, so it had been almost twelve years. I took a moment to reminisce those times. His face from back then and his face now were indeed the same face. Ahh, yes, this really is Suzuki- kun, I thought, smiling, and Suzuki returned my smile, but for some reason a complicated look appeared on his face.
I was just about to ask him 'what's wrong?', but that look disappeared from his face, and Suzuki, looking worried, asked me a question instead.
It seemed like a dream to walk side by side with my classmate whom I haven't seen for twelve years. This coincidence is kind of a rare thing, isn't it? I thought as Suzuki helped me descend the stairs. We headed towards the place where the taxicabs were parked in front of the station. Suzuki let me get in the taxi first and then he also climbed in, sat down beside me, and told the driver our destination – Ōtemachi.
"But still, it's been a long time," I said, because twelve years is considered a 'long time' and fixed my gaze at Suzuki's face again.
"It sure has...," Suzuki nodded deeply and said, "Do you still feel sick? You should lie down for a while."
He stretched out his hand towards my forehead.
"I'm alright."
I was also going to add that I was conscious now, but the moment the palm of his cold hand touched my forehead, my vision suddenly started spinning. Inadvertently, I grabbed onto the seat for support and automatically looked up at him.
"What's wrong?" He gazed at me, a strange light flickering in his large, dark eyes.
"...Somehow...I...," I was going to add 'not feel good' but couldn't. Suzuki touched my forehead again with his cold fingertips. At that moment, everything before me went black and without knowing why, I collapsed in the taxi car seat, fainting for the second time.