Era of Wrath (Chrim Chronicles #2)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

Wren of West

Down the bottom of the ocean of tears floated my dreams, coming up for air every now and then but they could only take a single gasp before sinking back down. Whether it was the moment those guards found me among the slaughtered men where I stopped dreaming, that I could not remember, but somewhere along the way I'd thrown all my hopes and dreams in a ditch and decided to just go along with whatever came my way.

Emperor Andras was one of those who treaded my way.

On my left and right stood the tallest fireplaces I'd ever seen, built inside dark brick walls. The crackling of the fires made me feel snug and secure. The long stretched table was filled to the brim with food, looking more like a buffet than a dinner for four. I saw loafs of bread, whole chickens, hunks of roasted meat, pots of gravy, mincemeat on sticks, roasted tomatoes, and more, all their plates shoved closely together in order to fit the massive table. The emperor watched me from the my opposite end as I kept scanning the food, and I only looked up when Emperor Andras turned to glance at Tavi and Gaspar sitting at his sides.

An unnerving smile crept up the Emperor's cheeks. "Aren't you going to eat?"

Emperor Andras looked like a little boy, but his voice was that of an old man, deeper than any I'd heard before and sounding like his throat was made of glass and stone. The first time I met him that voice coming out of that child had me startled, but now I could not imagine any other voice on him. For some reason, after he'd looked at me for a long time, the emperor had decided not to kill me. Instead I was bathed and received a room fitting for a king. Though, whether I was his friend or his prisoner was still unclear to me.

Gaspar and Tavi exchanged a glance, swallowed, then looked back down. The emperor's smile grew bigger. "Eat, boys. Don't be rude."

On my first time here, I had almost attacked the food like a starved, rabid dog, and I wondered why Gaspar and Tavi did not eat as they didn't seem to be in the best shape. Their eyes were rimmed red, their cheeks hollow and their lips almost blue, and there was a sickly yellow tone to their skin.

A peculiar silence as dense as the exhaustion I felt took a hold of the room. Nausea stirred a wave of vomit to my throat as I took in the scent of roasted meat. Never in my life had food smelled this strong before. The fabric of my shirt scraped against my sore breasts that seemed to grow bigger with each passing day. It would be accurate to say that I felt like shit whether I was out in the snow on the run, locked in a cell, or here in a satin dress.

If I waited for the guys to start eating I'd still be waiting in a fortnight, I figured, and so I picked up my cutlery and cut off a leg off a chicken and took some loafs of bread. Tavi and Gaspar took my example and also reached for their cutlery. After a long while of stares and silence, we were finally eating.

Emperor Andras let out a little laugh. "Had it not been for Wren of West here, you boys would've been rotting there for an eternity."

Gaspar gave me sideward glance as he cut into a piece of roasted meat. It was almost as if he were angry with me. "Hm. Who should I be thanking then, you or Wren?" He shoved a piece inside his mouth and smiled while he chewed. "And, no offence, but, why are you listening to Wren?"

"Don't speak with your mouth full, son." Emperor Andras took a napkin and dabbed his lips. "To answer your question, it is because Wren has something to offer as opposed to you two wretched fellas."

Tavi turned his head towards me. "Is that so, Wren?" He exchanged a frown with Gaspar, then faced me again. "So, may I ask what exactly you are offering the Great Emperor of Hell? Because..." Tavi's voice trailed off as he motioned his hands around the table. "For all of this, and for ending our captivity, surely what you have offered him is something of a massive importance. Perhaps, even something that isn't yours to offer."

"Now, now, Tavi. Let's not make assumptions." Gaspar laid down his cutlery and leaned his chin on his palm while looking at me. It was a look of contempt and judgment, that much was obvious. "Tell us, Wren, what is it that you have promised Grand Emperor Andras?"

Emperor Andras laughed. "Yes, Wren. Go on, tell them."

My heart pounded against my chest and I randomly grabbed a loaf of bread to turn my attention to something else but their stares. "Nothing..." As I looked up, all three stared at me skeptically. I swallowed and shrugged. "...of importance. I mean, it's basically nothing."

"How about you let us decide whether it's important or not?" Tavi said.

Gaspar nodded. "Indeed. We'll be the judge of that. Tell us, Wren, whose soul did you sell for us all to sit here and enjoy..." He waved his hand near the food. "All this?"

My mouth opened and formed soundless words, and as I realized I wouldn't be able to say it in words, I rose to my feet. For a while I stared back at them with slumped shoulders. As I turned sideward my heart pounded more violently, and I began to tremble. Then, I straightened myself and laid my hands over my abdomen, flattening the flowing dress to make the bump visible.

There were gasps, then silence. Without looking at them I sat down in shame. With a weak, croaky voice I managed to mutter, "My baby." I laid my forehead inside my hand and swallowed. "I promised him my baby."

It wasn't something I was proud of, but I couldn't bring myself to care much either. For some reason, I felt no love at all for that thing growing inside of me. When I felt it move around or kick all I could think of was that the day it'd get out couldn't come fast enough. Though it was a bold statement to make, I was rather sure I hated it. There were many things wrong with me, and this was apparently another thing that added to my monstrosity; being the worst mother ever who was unable to feel a connection with her own child.

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