If You Really Loved Me (Rafe Adler x Reader)

All Alone

I drove her home, my head not being able to wrap around her sober words. They didn't sound right coming from her beautiful lips.

Once I left her at our driveway, I continued driving. She asked me with that intoxicating voice where I was going, but I just ignored her. Apparently to her, it's what I did best.

I drove myself all the way to the national park, whiles away from our house. I always loved the location. You would walk up a steep hill for about half a mile, and then suddenly, it cuts off as a cliff. The entire area is restricted, but I couldn't care less. I was filled with pain and confusion, but I would never admit to the strange feeling of guilt that grew from the pit of my stomach. Guilt could make a man do strange things.

I approached the cliff, looking at the waves that crashed against a wall of rocks. When you stand there, all you could imagine is how many people jumped, whether purposely or not. I took off my suit jacket and laid it across the grass on the tip. I sat down letting my feet dangle over. Curiousity drenched me in what it would feel like to just, jump. Curiosity was an awful thing.

I ran my fingers methodically through the green blades. For once, my mind was empty. I couldn't fill it with any thoughts although they urged for attention. It was just, me and the waves. Y/N would have loved it here, but unfortunately she's too stubborn to let me take her places like this. All she does is complain I don't give her time, but I give her as much as I can.

She is stubborn in her stupid ways. It's my fault for loving her.

~

When Rafe dropped you off at the house, all you did was sit inside at the bottom of the stairs. You knew you should probably be getting your stuff packed, but you just felt exhausted of all emotion. Your relationship with him was clearly unhealthy, and definitely toxic. You weren't sure why you fell for him in the first place. You knew he was a millionaire brat, and you knew he wouldn't have time for you because of that.

You knew that, and yet you still liked him.

Maybe it was your fault after all.

After staring at the door for more than ten minutes, you finally made your way to your bedroom. You looked at the messy sheets stretched across the bed. On Rafe's nightstand he had his silver watch and a lamp. It didn't even look like he lived with you. If he didn't have his clothes in the closet or his shoes by the front door, it would look like you lived in this big house all alone.

It was never a home, and now there was no chance for it to become a home because of you. You ruined whatever you had left in the relationship. It might have not been much, but it definitely was something.