Do you know how many nights I spent wondering why her and not me?
Why she get to be the one having all your love ? No you don't.. You never noticed what you were for me and I never showed..
Even though I give you all of my loving and supporting and I've could swear that I had yours at some point or that what I thought so..
Was it a fantasy? Was it a false hopes? Or is it just my brain fooling me with the " book kind of love " and the " Fairy tall happy ending " ? No one knows but you do...
And I will never share that knowledge With you cause I will never ask you will ask me why? No you won't but I do? even though I don't know the answer but I think it's a mix with the fear of knowing the truth ,and the need for it.maybe one of them, maybe both on the same time.. Who knows?.. Well not me!
So many questions I ask before falling asleep on my tears trying to give you excuses for choosing her on me. countless night, morning, hours , even Months and I'm heading to years now..
But you will never know.. Cause you will never ask and I will never tell you!
That's kinda my thing from the beginning you see! even when I was falling harder and harder for you every time I see you ,and my heart stopes, I was still giving you " the smile " oh you know the smile? The smile that you always said that you loved , the Same one that I gave you when I was wishing you a happy life with her .. Away from me, even though we both know that wasn't gonna be the case for me.
It was the same smile but was it the same feeling when pronounce it?
Even though I teared up in every word, no! no in every letter I said that day!
I still do by the way if you're wondering even though you're not and I know it but it's killing me..
YOU ARE READING
the thoughts of an anxious Arabic girl 💭
Random-276 in save - just a Arabic teenage girl with anxiety sharing her thoughts with you It Doesn't matter what race or religion or skin color you are anxiety feels the same..
