OUT OF MIND / MYG.

THIRTY SIX

after my third game of chess with chaeyoung, i had gotten bored.

i was pleading with her to play another game with me when i heard a familiar voice.

i glanced around and saw yoongi walking through the doors.

i jumped up.

"you're here! i haven't seen you in forever!"

he smiled, sorrow filling his features.

i noticed the bags under his eyes and the faint flush of crinkles etching his forehead.

my joy faltered.

"what's wrong?"

yoongi didn't speak at first.

i had moved away from my table with chaeyoung and to a separate one to talk to yoongi.

he diverted his attention to the ground.

after a minute, he spoke.

"my parents came to visit yesterday. eunbi thought it was going to go well but i knew that couldn't be true. it's my parents, nothing ever goes as planned with them. everything ends up being a blame game. 'you didn't raise her right, you couldn't protect her from him.' it's a mess and i knew that a fight was going to occur."

he bit his lip.

i saw a faint sheen of pent up emotion behind his eyes.

"eunbi has been working so hard with her program. i have seen so many changes in her. she's been handling her personalities well. i didn't want her to relapse. but i couldn't change her mind. she wanted to see them."

he sighed.

i felt stiff, unable to figure out how to comfort the man in front of me.

i reached out and grabbed his hand, squeezing gently.

"everything started out okay, eunbi was in a good mood, my parents were laughing and joking around. and then something always happens to ruin that and they get started going back and forth with each other. it affects eunbi. she hasn't dealt with her self-harm addiction yet. she's still easily triggered and it happened again."

i suppose i am similar to eunbi.

i understood her.

no you don't.

or maybe not.

i'm not sure.

either way, it was difficult to hear someone else go through the exact same situation as you.

in another way, it was comforting almost.

i felt less pain when i knew i wasn't the only one suffering.

i wasn't the only one who couldn't stop.

"is she okay?"

yoongi continued.

"she's fine. they have her in suicide watch for now. it just sucks because i feel we are right back to square one after she's worked so hard to come back from her drug overdose. part of me doesn't know if she'll ever be able to face my parents. it's like they need help too."