I want to "reset" my image and life as a new high school student.
Why?
I am feminine and I was ostracized by my female friends in junior high, and because of a misunderstanding, I couldn't get my feelings across to the only boy I have ever liked...
I’m not good when it comes to guys. It became worse after I entered middle school. They are violent, noisy and messy in many cases. But…
Tanaka-kun, from the neighbouring class, seems different.
He has a small build, and his voice isn’t deep just like normal guy. It’s clear. And that’s the reason why I’m okay with him.
“7 o’clock. At the clock in Sankaku Park.” His voice repeats all over in my mind. I was excited when that day came. Dressed in a pink dress and brown sandals, I stood beneath the towering clock, clinging onto my handbag nervously.
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I waited and waited, but Tanaka-kun never came.
Ever since then, I’ve heard nothing from him, not even a phone call. When school reopened, I tried to find him, but no avail.
It was when I was walking back to class from the cafeteria during my recess break and I hear their conversation about him.
“Huh? Tanaka changed schools?” Naitou’s voice sounded from somewhere behind me. His voice was tinged with surprise, as though like me, he had heard nothing of him until school reopened.
“Yeah. I heard he moved over summer break.” Another boy’s voice rang in the air. I turned to look at Naitou, who was speaking with a dark-haired boy.
Naitou seemed genuinely disappointed. “He didn’t tell me anything!”
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“Huh? Not even you, Naitou?” The dark-haired boy raised his eyebrows in disbelief. “I thought he would tell you first, since you’re his close friend.”
I turned away at that, not wishing to hear the conversation anymore. My heart felt heavy and hearing it further might just make me collapse out of pain and sadness.
He did not bother to tell his close friend. He did not even make an effort to tell me, who had waited at the park for a long time, but only to be greeted by silence.
I slowly walked back to my classroom and sunk into my chair, feeling as though a thousand needles were stabbing my fragile heart. As the day went by, I felt slightly better after having lunch, although I could not focus on whatever the teachers’ were saying afterwards as my mind was clouded with thoughts of him.
He was embarrassingly awkward.
Uncertain.
He always seemed to be fumbling his way through everything. But… I really did love Tanaka-kun.
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