Leave Me At the Doorstep

Chpt 4: Why? (Jackson's POV)

Chapter 4

Why?

   Jackson’s POV

    For the next two weeks I would go to the library to sit and eat lunch with Avery. What? I don’t like her or anything. She’s really nice and funny. We had a really awkward conversation the other day though.

    “Why do you keep that purple bruise hidden? Shouldn’t you tell someone about it?” I asked cautiously. Ever since the day I had noticed it, she had done her best to hide it. Curling her hair so that it covered her ear, pulling it back into a ponytail, wearing a hoodie. She had hidden it so well lately that I completely forgot about it. Today was different though. She had forgotten all about it.

    “I...like looking pretty. The bruise makes me look ugly, so I keep it hidden,” she whispered, “Why are you curious anyways? It’s none of your business!”

    “‘Cause I’m your friend; I deserve to know! I’m your friend right?” For some reason it hurt me to think of her yelling “NO! EEW! A BOY FOR A FRIEND? GROSS!” I’d tried to make friends with girls before. One of my best friends, Karen, was a girl. In 4th grade she told me it was to abnormal for us to hang out because she was a girl and I was - well - a boy. I tried to become friends with her again in 6th grade, but then she was just interested in me as a boyfriend or whatever. I wondered, why? She moved right after that happened. Girls are weird. That’s the only thing I’m sure of about them at this point. I might be a straight A student but I’m apparently failing in The Science of Girls class.

    I dropped the subject of her bruises in fear of losing a potential friend. Not that I’m friendless. I have Joshua and, well, to be honest, all of his popular friends. He’s my only real friend. I’m obviously interested in avery as a friend, nothing else. Don’t expect his to turn into some kind of middle school romance. I hate to tell you, but let’s get real! Me? A girl? As “an item”? You must be mental. Or a girl. Why do all girls presume that a guy and a girl that are friends will automatically turn into hopeless romantics? Why?

    Why do I care so much about Avery Lipton. Is it the because I want to protect her from whatever gave her that ugly scar? (And I don’t mean like a knight in shining armor.) do I just want more friends? Do I really want to be her friend or am I just using her in a way that is invisible to even me? If so, why am I using her? Is it to show everyone that to people can be friends without liking each other? Is it to prove to joshua and all the other popular kids that I have some worth in the world of teenage dating? Why?

    Why do I keep talking to myself through…this!?!?

WHY?