MY WILD OATS HAVE TURNED INTO PRUNES AND ALL-BRAN
What’s so funny about this? This statement might seem very strange and not even remotely funny if you don’t get the underlying, literary, physical and medical assumptions. That’s assuming an awful lot. So, please let me explain. Let’s start with “wild oats”. There is a saying in English that when men are young, they go around “sowing their wild oats”. This does not mean they all go out to a farm and plant wild oat seeds. Well, in a manner of speaking they do sow a lot of their seed but it’s not oats exactly. It’s their own human seed, or sperm. Planting seeds is often used as a euphemism for sex and the saying really means that young guys go around having a lot of sex because they are strong, willing, and horny. As they grow older and hopefully more mature, this wild seed sowing slowly diminishes, especially after marriage and kids. With old age comes some other issues, namely decreased sexual strength and ability. Oh, the desire is still strong but not much else. The mind is willing but the body, not so much. Something else that happens in old age is the decrease in ability to have regular bowel movements. Here’s where oats, wheat and other grains come back into the picture. “Bran” is the hard outer layer of cereal grain. When you eat a lot of it, especially with certain fruit such as prunes, it induces bowel movements. This is just what old folks often need - a little assistance. So the joke shows how someone who was once young and spreading oats is now old and putting oats back into his body, to help move things along. And THAT’s what’s so funny!
This joke was sent to me by Patchy Groundfog
