The twin who went insane

Chapter 1

This is a story about my brother, and his struggles. But lets start at the beginning, we were born on the 14th of December. As twins,many saw us as the same person because our parents made us dress and act the same. At first life was good my brother and I were close, inseparable even. Until the night of the 17th of June when we were five. That's when it first happened, my father beat him,because he wasn't 'perfect'. Yet our parents praised me. When it first started happening it was only physical and he'd always come up with excuses and it never interfered with our relationship. As years went by the abuse became worse, it was mental and physical. His once soft gaze seemed lost as though he was in a trance. Then he started becoming more violent at school and most days skipping.

Finally when we were fifteen my mother took him to the hospital, they gave him medication and said he'd never be what he used to be but he'd similar. He lied, the doctor lied. It made him worse. Violent outbreaks. Hallucinations. Fainting.

He never went back to school.

At sixteen our farther was arrested, mother committed suicide three months later. This worsened his condition, he began hurting himself claiming our father had done. I've tried acting as a brother would but now I act more as a carer.

Some days he'd forget who he is... who I am. On the 9th of November when we were nineteen, he attacked me for the first time. He came at me with a knife. Once he snapped out of his 'trance' he saw me on the floor bleeding only slightly minor cut under my eye. That was the first and last time he attacked me. It took five months for him to talk to me again but the first words he said were "I'm sorry" he sounded as though he never lost his mind, that it was a one time thing. But it wasn't, it never is. My response was "I love you" his gentle smile warmed my heart. The first time in three years, a true smile.

Twenty years old, less violent outbreaks but hallucinations more common. He always muttered little things, but once he was screaming afterwards when he was willing to speak he told me "It was liked being stabbed with razor sharp needles all over then a burning sensation". He never had a hallucination like that again.

Or so I thought. He kept secrets. Little tales he wrote down in a journal. All his 'dreams' linked to one big story of loss, pain, isolation and death. I wish he'd told me before. All his pain,problems, I want to hear them all but I never will.