summer boy ~ tal fishman ✓

~58~

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Hey, I know I don't do authors' notes at the beginning, so I just wanted to ask you very politely if you could please read what I'm saying at the end of this chapter. :) <3

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'Mommy, mommy! The dog jumped in the mud again and is now running through the house!' the little high voices of my kids shouting from downstairs fills my otherwise silent room.

I sigh and place the picture back in the drawer. Yes, I've got a perfect everything now. A picture-perfect life. I've got a stable job, two amazing kids, a big house, a loving husband... It's great. I just sometimes wonder what would have happened. Sometimes. Right now is one of those times.

I wonder if I'll ever see him again. What he's up to. If he's married. If he has been successful in life. He probably has been, knowing him. He can really put his mind to something and achieve it. I smile. 

'I'm coming, sweethearts!' I open the door and walk down the stairs, preparing to catch the dog outside again to give him a bath. It's not like I just did this yesterday or anything. 

'Sweeties, the school bus is nearly here, get ready quickly!' I shout to my kids who ran upstairs. They have been growing so fast. But so have I. I look on my phone. Today, I will send the kids to school and then I will be able to decide to if I want to work at home or at the office. I think my decision will be to stay at home, I've got a bit of a headache. I'll have more free time if I were to stay home. And I'm really overthinking a lot right now, so not being in the constant smell of coffee in the office would be nice.

The kids both kiss me on the cheek and then run out the door to the school bus, to their friends waiting for them in there. Their friends always wait for them. I wish he waited for me. But he didn't. You could say he's my one that got away. You could say, you could say. The words are replaceable by the word 'definitely'.

I shake my head. I need to stop thinking about the past. It went the way it went and I shouldn't be complaining. I think about my kids and automatically smile. I love them so much. I love the dog too, but not so much at this exact moment. The little bastard made the whole house filthy again. I decide I'll definitely have to give him a bath. He doesn't like those so much, so I'll have to find him first.

I know how he'll just come walking in so I don't have to catch him. I grab some of his treats and walk outside, into the huge garden. I whistle, call his name and shake the treats a little bit. He comes running almost immediately. I give him a treat and grab his collar. I smile; the dog is too naive and does nearly anything for food. I take the leash that's hanging in the kitchen and tie it to him and the table. He's not getting away this time.

I grab a bowl of water so he can have something to drink while I fill up the bathtub. I'm glad I didn't put on my fancy work-clothes. They would have been really muddy by now; the dog jumped on top of me more than just a few times. 

I put him in the bathtub and try to rub him clean. He tries to escape several times, making me completely soaked while attempting. It takes a while to wash him, but I reward him with a treat afterward. The dog does everything for treats, so I think the treats will make him like baths just a tiny bit more. At least, I hope so. Because then the next time he will have found a mud puddle, he'll be more cooperative to take a bath afterward.

The dog is finally clean, dry and inside again. He won't be let in the garden loose anytime soon. I'll go out with him in two hours or something. I open my computer and start working things out a bit. I open a document and start typing an email to some employees on what should be done by next week. 

After a few cups of coffee with a lot of milk added in and working for a few hours, I decide I'll go to the forest. It's one of the reasons we moved to this house; it is located quite close to a forest. I didn't get a lot of work done because my thoughts have been wondering off the entire time. To him. Hopefully, the forest can calm my thoughts down a bit. I take some money, my phone, and head to the bus stop. It arrives just a few minutes later. A bit later, I'm sitting in the window seat, staring outside.

The bus stands still a few stops further. I look out the window and see some guy sitting lonely on some bench on the side of the park here. The guy looks up. It seems like I'm making eye-contact and I'm looking into those all-too-familiar blue-green eyes again like I did so many years ago. My heart seems to stop for a millisecond. But it's not possible. I moved to another city. I moved on. It can't possibly be him. 

My heart is beating really fast. I don't know why. I'm happily married to a man I love and with two kids and somehow, I see someone I possibly know and I totally freak out. 

The bus closes it's doors while I keep staring at the guy. If it would be him, he matured nicely. Still as handsome as that long ago. Still the jawline, the same features. The person smiles at me, confused. I would be confused too if some random creepy woman on the bus would be staring at me like that. 

Then the guy mouthes something. I think it was meant for me since our eyes were still locked. He seemed to mouth my name. Which isn't possible. I don't know him. It can't be the same guy from my past. I want to break eye contact but I can't. I keep staring at him, memorizing every aspect and linking it to the guy I thought I knew so well. That way, my brain will hopefully come to the conclusion that it doesn't line up. I wonder how long I'll be thinking about this.

The bus has started moving and I drive away, still keeping eye contact until I can't see him anymore. It probably even wasn't him. Just my brain making things up. I'm having a bad day, only thinking about things in the past. That's why I decided to go to the forest, remember that Julia? The clearing your mind thing?

My brain is overthinking everything, but mostly the question why? Why would he leave me? Why did it go the way it went? Would we have been happy together is some other universe? 

Probably not. Tal most likely thought I just thought of him as my summer boy.

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Haaaiiiii thank you so so so so soooo much for reading this book. (You don't have to read this entire authors' note, just if you want to) I really love all the sweet things you've said. I see (nearly) all of your comments and I love reacting to them. I just wanted to say thank you, even though I know I've said it in basically every authors' note I wrote. I'm just really thankful to you. I mean, 18K?! And what, like 500 votes?!?!!!?? Whaaaatt?

Second of all; I'll be editing some chapters to elongate them or just make them better in general. Some of them, especially the first few are so cringeworthy. And please don't hate me for this ending. :) 

And if you wished for a different ending, there's an imagines book up where I posted a few chapters with kind of little alternate endings. I can't really explain it, I would just really appreciate it if you'd check it out.

I love you guys so much!

<3 Im

PS; I know my little sister is reading my book- I see you. -.-