he tells you he's sorry
he tells you he didn't mean it like that
and you can't help but laugh
didn't mean it like what?
you don't care about my opinion
you choose to ignore,
completely disregard,
the hours I've wasted trying to help you
how can you care about the hypothetical actions
of a dead man
6 feet below
rotten to the bone
a literal skeleton
over the love of your boyfriend?
I should've seen it coming
after all
everyone has left me
or I have left everyone
after all
what kind of good romance was I expected to have
when at the age of 5
I choked my first boyfriend by the back of his shirt collar?
after all
I was juggled around by many guys behind a screen when I was 8
acting as if I was a guy who was 17
because even when I was a child
I was discontent with who I was
after all
the first man I actually could see myself marrying
disappeared without a trace
dead or alive?
sad or happy?
a memory or a dream?
I still don't fucking know where he is
after all
when I gave love a second chance
you let me down twice
said you wouldn't
but oh how dumb of me
to actually
believe
the words
of a man
Ryan
oh Ryan
how can you say these things about men
when you are supposed to be one too?
well,
I'll tell you a thing or two
because they're despicable
that must mean I'm despicable too
