What Hurts The Most

II - I'm not alone

"I know I'm not alone"
 As the doubt was flowing through me, my friends noticed something off with me. They approached me. Oleksiy, Júlio, Patty, Cláudia, Ana Lee, Vilela, all of them asked what was wrong. I could see the concern on their faces.
"Hey is everything alright?" - asked Júlio.
 Júlio has been my friend for almost 3 years now, he's been there when I needed him and I've been there for him when he needed, most people don't like him because he's different, but I don't mind, it actually makes him unique, more interesting, but I digress.
 "What's wrong my snicka?" - questioned Oleksiy.
 I met Oleksiy last year, we got along almost immediatly, we had similar music tastes, both of us love music, we speak English really well, albeit I'm better, hehe. We had gone through difficult situations as well, he had lost both of his best friends, and later this year, on the 16th January, I lost my best friend. So yeah, that helped with our "bonding", and now he's my best friend, he's the person I spend the most time with and he's the person who knows everything about me. The "ma snicka" is typical of him, we are always joking around, just making fun of each other, laughing at everything around us. Enjoying life.
 "Hey, what's wrong dear?" - intervened Patty.
 Patty was introduced to me by Júlio, she was in his class, she's a nice girl, sweet and a good friend. She loves politics, so you can imagine that when she starts rambling on about her beliefs she won't stop, but it's alright, at least she's talking about something that she loves and she's having a good time doing so. She's always been there for me, I've never had any complaints about her, but moving on.
 "Hey, are you alright?" - chimed in Cláudia.
 Cláudia and I never got really close, this year we're talking a bit more, she's in my class as well now so we end up talking. She's a really sweet girl, quiet, really competitive, especially when it comes to sports! She's always worried about people, especially people whom she cares for. She also loves music as much as me, so we got something in common.
 "Bro, you okay?" - asked Vilela.
 I met him last year, and about 4 or 5 months later he started dating one of my best friends, Ana Lee, and he's a great guy, has always been there for me. Gave me advice once or twice when I needed it and never failed to make me laugh. (I laugh a lot so most of the people around me are as retarded as I am) He loves gaming, as I do, and he also plays some of the games I do, although I haven't really played lately, because of Her.
 "Vodka? Are you okay?" - interrogated Ana Lee.
 I met her 4 years ago, she dated a friend of mine and he introduced her to me, we didn't really get along back then but a year later we started hanging out more and we started getting along really well. Ever since she's always been there to help me with everything, and I do the same with what I can. She gave me the nickname Vodka because I used to joke around that I was Vodka so it stuck. I gave her a nickname that I know she loves, Unicorn. She just loves Unicorns, I know. She's really different comparing to me, but that just makes our friendship better. 
 "I'm alright, just thinking about some stuff. I'm gonna go for a walk, I need to clear my head for a bit" - I answered them all.
 They just wandered off into the school hallways while I headed for the exit, I knew just the perfect place to listen to some music and think about my current situation.
 As I arrived there, I started to feel the silence and the peace of the area. I love that place because I can just sit there, listen to music, enjoy the view and think about life or any other subject. I changed the song that was playing to the playlist I made for her. The list consisted of songs that reminded me of her and my current situation, (I'm a masochist I know, but I like being like that).

Songs like, Skillet's Comatose, James Arthur's Say You Won't Let Go or Can I Be Him, Richie Campbell's Heaven, and many more. 
 As I sat on the little stone wall, I felt the coldness of it through my shorts. Then all thoughts raced through my mind, does she feel the same? What am I gonna do? How am I gonna talk to her? Why is this happening again? I started trying to find an answer for every question but I couldn't find anything, so I just sat there, thinking about her. Her long brown hair, her hazel like eyes and then there's her smile. Her damn smile. I started feeling that warmness traveling through every inch of my body, how can someone have that much power over me? Just a smile made me feel like this! Imagine if I had her. I would be able to make her happy, take her for a walk under the moon, treat her like a princess. Treat her the way she deserves.
 'I'm gonna win her heart!' - I thought.
 That day I decided to follow my heart, and to try and win her heart. "The heart wants what it wants"
 I started listening to NF's If You Want Love, it fit perfectly into the situation
 "I just need some time, I'm tryna think straight
I just need a moment in my own space
Ask me how I'm doin', I'll say, "okay"
Yeah, but ain't that what we all say?
Sometimes I think back to the old days
In the pointless conversations with the old me
Yeah, back when my momma used to hold me
I wish somebody woulda told me
If you want love, you gon' have to go through the pain

If you want love, you gon' have to learn how to change

If you want trust, you gon' have to give some away"