Chapter nine

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   I looked around fearfully, searching for my father. I knew he would be angry at me for leaving before I had to go to him for another upgrade. I looked around the corner, it was a pitch black night anyone else wouldn't have been able to see even a foot in front of their face, and yet I could see everything clearly, why?

I gulped I took another step towards my room trying my best to stay silent, I was failing. I wouldn't have been surprised if the next upgrade fixed that. I looked behind me to make sure I wasn't being followed. I breathed a silent sigh of relief and looked forwards startled at the sight i saw. 

Jessica was standing at the window tears in her eyes, "Lil, please come home" she whispered into the night air.

Has father done anything to you? Where is he? Why are you up so late?

Questions flooded my mind, one right after the other. They would need to remain unanswered for now. 

I crept up behind her, careful not to make a sound. I bit my lip as my arms quickly wrapped around her, trapping her in a hug. 

She let out a startled gasp and quickly tried turning around. I tightened my grip so that she wouldn't accidentally hurt herself. I chuckled  lightly "Calm down, I come in peace" 

She visibly relaxed and breathed a sigh of relief. "Where were you?" she whispered turning her head to the side to try and get a glimpse of me.

I shook my head "you wouldn't believe me if I told you" I said softly  She giggled softly and shook her head. "You always were full of vague answers"                                      ____________________

The constant sound of beeping was driving me crazy, the smell of alcohol burned into my nostrils told me that I was in a hospital. 

I knew I had about a minute or two before the meds took me under again. I didn't want to sleep. The memories will haunt me. 

Suddenly I noticed the sparks shooting up and down my arm, I knew it was Blake. 

I tried desperately to open my eyes. Until I was pulled under once again

____________________

I struggled against the bindings that held me. 

I was scared, I wasn't much older than eight. 

The last time I had been on thus table, Father had taken his knife and slashed at my back and upper thigh. 

Tears streamed down my face as Father came in with his knife. I struggled harder against my restraints, afraid of what he wanted to do to me. 

Why couldn't I just live in peace? Ignored by the monster that now hunted my very being. The very same monster that hated me for killing his mate. 

I squeezed my eyes shut as his knife slid easily into the flesh on my shoulder. 

Hours had passed and he was still hacking away at my skin, carefully as if he had a specific idea for what he was doing. 

I screamed as I felt something metal being shoved underneath my skin almost to my bone.       _____________

"How long have you known?" Blake roared. I couldn't move, I couldn't even flutter my eyelids. 

I heard a wimper "Blake, please" Katie said so quietly that I could hardly hear her. 

"She has slits o her wrist, Mother. And the Doctors say she has even worse scars on the rest of her body" Blake said, the pain in his voice made it clear, he blamed himself. 

My wrists were burning, someone had messed with my slits. 

I tried pressing my wrists into my leg to get an idea of what exactly what they had done. My wrists touched something cold and smooth. They bound my wrists down. I rubbed my wrists against it. 

I felt stitches along my slits. 

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. How could they be so stupid?!

I felt the Medication try and pull me back into the darkness. I thrashed around, The beeping on the heart monitor spiked as I became more panicked. People rushed in to try and keep me still. 

I managed to rip one of my arms from it's restraint and pulled off all the wires and things they had on me. My eyes glowed red through my eyelids. Once I was able to, I snapped my eyes open. 

The doctors all took a step back while Blake took a step forwards, towards me. 

I snapped my head towards him and forced my other arm from its binding. My eyes glew a darker maroon than it ever had before as I examined my wrists. 

"Lillian?" Blake said taking another step towards me, he seemed unsure of his eyes. I looked at him briefly before getting off the uncomfortable hospital bed to find something to take the stitches out with. 

Blake walked up behind me and grabbed my arm "Lillian don't you'll just hurt yourself" He told me trying to pull me back towards him. 

I growled at him and yanking my arm from his grip. He picked me up by my waist and pulled me into him. I struggled even harder against his hold.

He sighed and turned me around so that I was facing him, my eyes flickered at the sudden movement and he smirked. 

He kissed my forehead and gently pulled me closer to him. My eyes were wide with surprise, the glow now just a small light maroon. 

I stared at his neck not wanting to look him in the eye. I stopped struggling against him and leaned into his fiery touch. I closed my eyes and let the glow fade into my normal eye color. 

He rested his chin on the top of my head. "I am so sorry Lillian, I couldn't control my anger and you got hurt because of it" Blake said after a few minutes of comfortable silence. 

I opened my eyes and looked at the stitching on my wrists. I pulled away from him and showed them to him. I looked up at him not trusting my voice. His face was twisted in confusion. 

He held my wrists gently as if he was afraid of hurting me again. I sighed and pulled back. "Who gave those to you? Why haven't they healed?" Blake asked quietly. 

I looked down at my wrists, "it doesn't matter, all you have to know is that these stitches are just going to do more harm then good." I told him softly turning around to continue my search. 

"Lillian, please don't do something that's just going to hurt you" Blake told me the worry clear in his voice. I shook my head "I won't, hey can you get me something that will help me take these out?" I asked, I just wanted to get him out of the room so that I could shoot out my blades, cutting all the stitches in the process. 

He nodded and left the room. I breathed a sigh of relief and sharply swung my arms back successfully cutting most of the stitches. I looked at my blades and went into the bathroom to clean off all the blood from them. There usually isn't that many, I assumed that it was because my slits had been stitched together but I didn't know for sure. 

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