Falling Embers(A Nigerian Tale)

Chapter 9

Fudal did not come home that night.
I knew that because I stayed up late into the night waiting for him, believing that he was wise and decent enough to avoid anything that would give us a reason to be disappointed in him. I knew that because I still had the sleep lines I got from having to sleep outside on a mat with nothing but a torchlight that had long abandoned its luminance. I never did that, not even when the weather was too hot and my mother would suggest we do. I'd always feared the vastness of the night -the stars weighing down their silent judgment on me, while the moon created a spotlight for the trial-, not to mention, the large number of insects that usually frolicked about our compound when the sun goes down. I had endured all that the previous night, mainly because I was too naive to believe that he would pull an 'Ali move' on us.

'The friend was none but a fancy trick', Jawad's words screamed at me. I immediately stopped myself from turning vile then. I said so myself; Fudal had never done anything like this, so it was only fair that i give him the benefit of the doubt. He deserved that and a lot more. Not once has he turned his back on any of us.

He did not come back home that night because I was awoken by an angry Muhammad, vowing to give Fudal a good beating if he got the chance. "That was a low blow from him. Allah help him when he steps a foot inside this house." I sat unmoving while he ranted. Honestly, I had no idea how to react.

"Maybe something held him up. He wouldn't just stay out on purpose, Muhammad." I was angry at Fudal. I really was but I won't let that anger blind me enough to make rash decisions. Besides, he was old enough to stay out late if he wished. "And he's responsible enough to take care of himself. You know that."

Muhammad banged a hand angrily at the wall we sat upon and Nana released a loud snore at the noise. We laughed, despite the situation. "How do you sleep with that, Aseel?" I chuckled but warned him against rudeness nevertheless. "And Fudal? I'm not worried about his welfare one bit. He could survive a desert, that one. It's the general idea of him leaving that boils me up."

"He couldn't have done it on purpose.", I insisted.

"Aseel, turn down your naiveness for once. You don't always have to see the bright side of things all the time. You forgive easily.", he said in an accusing tone. I played with the tassel on my shirt as he went on. "I saw you with Abba last night." I opened my mouth in defence but he shushed me. "Listen to me. I know its nice having a fatherly figure and all, but this was not the first time Abba has made an attempt at redemption. It might last but don't get used to it."

He was right and I knew that, but I couldn't help hating him a bit for ruining my glee. Abba's liveliness had continued on into the night and once or twice over dinner, he tried including Muhammad into our discussions, but Muhammad was having none of it.

"Besides, Fudal promised never to do something like this."

"Promised?", I whispered.

"Yes, Aseel. We made a pact a few years ago to prevent something like this from happening.", he glumly explained. I urged him to elaborate further. "It was a few days after Ali's first disappearance."

"I don't remember much from that day.", I declared. He nodded and continued on.

"Fudal was disoriented, if you can remember. He had wasted all his time, effort and resources in ensuring that our dear brother gets over his delinquent phase. What he never understood was that Ali's behaviour at that point was not just a phase."

I intently listened because I never asked what it felt like from my brothers' point of view. "Going through a phase was when I shaved my head bald. Going through a phase was when Fudal frequented the neighborhood's game house. It was a phase when you once vowed off any food gotten from animals and it was a phase when Ali tried out his first cigarette. However," He suddenly stopped and looked up into the sun as if the answers he sought were somehow embedded in its deep blare. "However, it was not a phase when he disappeared for two weeks straight, only to return with syringe marks all over his arm." I did not know any of that. All I knew was that Ali never was the same person after that night. "'Liquid euphoria', he called it. 'You should try it too', he advised. 'It will end your troubles', he had said. But did it really, Aseel?" I cocked my head, silently questioning what he meant. "Did it end his troubles? Because he seemed pretty troubled to me the last time he was here. So it was not a phase, Aseel when he put you in a situation where you were disgusted by your own blood. It was-" He looked me dead in the eyes when he continued. "It was rock bottom. Ali had hit rock bottom. And when that realisation dawned upon us, Fudal flipped. We promised that no matter how great the challenge thrown our way, we would solve it together. We would remain with our family in this house. The family that caused a lot of mayhem and the house that had contained it all. We promised never to leave it unannounced. Not even for a single night."