ambivalence | james potter

seven: he loves me, he loves me not

another super long chapter for you guys because i love y'all ;) (there's a flashback for you guys, and you'll find out how james actually realised his feelings for liv.) enjoy!

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S E V E N

Third Year

"I pick... dare." 

Thirteen year-old Sirius smirked lazily and leaned his head of dark hair back against the pillowy burgundy fabric. He laid sprawled out across the common room sofa, his legs dangling over the edge. A few feet away, a group of second-year girls looked over their shoulders at him and tittered amongst themselves quietly, but he barely glanced in their direction. His attention was fully fixated on the bespectacled boy lounging on the armchair opposite him. 

"Dare? Excellent choice, mate. I've got a good one."

"Bring it," James said confidently as he cracked his knuckles and rubbed his palms together in anticipation. So far, he'd already eaten a raw egg, licked Peter's face and ran outside topless, twice. He wasn't forfeiting anytime soon.

"Alright." Sirius' expression was alight with irrepressible mischief. "Hmmm. I dare you to..... kiss the next person who walks into the room."

James rubbed his chin thoughtfully, mulling it over. "What if it's a first year? I'm not kissing a first year."

A sigh of resignation escaped Sirius' lips. "Fine. No first-years. But that's the only exception."

"Alright, I'll do it." Swallowing the sudden flicker of anxiety arising in him in an attempt to appear complacent, James smirked and turned his head to watch the portrait hole intently. Peter looked unable to contain his excitement while Remus merely rolled his eyes wearily. "Bloody hell, this should be good."

The sardonic words had barely left his mouth before the portrait door swung open and a familiar figure trudged in tiredly. Upon seeing who it was, James' reaction was instantaneous. "No bloody way."

Sirius looked back and forth between his best mate and the girl, grinning so widely his face looked like it was going to split into two. "Oh yes."

James made a face. "No."

"Yes." Sirius crossed his arms triumphantly, as smug as the cat who'd just eaten the canary. "Unless you want to do the default dare."

The four of them shuddered in unison. Nobody wanted to do the default dare.

"Come on," James moaned, his shoulders slumping down in reluctance as he stared at the aforementioned girl. "Anyone but her."

"Rules are rules, mate. She was the first one to walk in." Impatience was evident on Sirius' handsome features. "I reckon you got lucky. I'd be right chuffed if I got to kiss Olivia Prescott, she's one of the best-looking girls in our year."

"Gross," James mumbled, watching as Olivia curled up in one of the armchairs near the fireplace and cracked open her well-worn copy of Quidditch Through the Ages. The glowing amber-garnet flames from the embers cast faint shadows across her face, accentuating her cheekbones and the curve of her lips. As insufferable as she was, James couldn't deny the fact that she was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. A strange jolt went through him as he realised what would happen if he went through with the dare.

He tore his gaze away from. "Besides, have you forgotten the part where she's insane and she hates my guts? No way I'm going anywhere near her."