Just to make you guys laugh
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A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife: “Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants s*x, don’t
resist, don’t complain, do whatever he.tells.you. Satisfy him no matter how much he.nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing.my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love
you too!!”
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A pilot was transporting a bunch of madmen from Lagos to a psychiatric facility in Johannesburg, South
Africa. The madmen were making noise and suddenly, one of them entered the
Pilot’s Cabin;
MADMAN: Teach me how to fly a plane!
PILOT: I would, but under one condition.
MADMAN: What?
PILOT: If you can get your colleagues to keep quiet. (5 minutes later, the plane was eerily quiet!)
PILOT: Wow! How did you get them to
keep quiet?
MADMAN: I opened the door and
asked them to go and play outside!
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I have been sending chat msgs to this
gal as in “hi”, “hey”, “xup” …since 2009 but she has neva replied me!
Today i sent, “232252536421162” to her and after 3mins she replied “xup handsome, pls which network airtime is dis?”
And i replied, “its a NOKIA torch light serial number” …. and she blocked
me immediately.
Pls have I said anything bad?
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MADE IN NIGERIA ENGLISH.
*ABEG DRESS BACK.
*If I hear pim, u go hear weeen.
*Have they BROUGHT light?
*The FILM is SWEET
*Pls help me SLOW that fan
*Mummy HAVE come
*I'll tell my daddy FOR YOU
*Have you paid your school fees money?
*See as you BAFF up
*Put the bread inside LYLON
*I strong KAKARAKA
*Oya come and be going
*I KUKUMA don't have your time
*Shebi you have BB charger
*See how her eye is entering my food
*Did you see the sound of my ringtone?
*I know you have come since bcoz I hear your perfume.
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For hilarious Nigerian Jokes check out Humor: The Nigerian Way by harielta
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Keep on being amazing my gods and goddesses.
☺
- Timi
YOU ARE READING
Tales By Moonlight
RandomIn the olden days, and even in some rural villages, after dinner, the little children gather around the elders to hear some of the stories about legends; kings; gods and goddesses; the animal kingdom and how it supposedly came to be; and so much mor...
