Her Deep Dark Poems

Harvey Weinstein of Our Lives

I only knew colours bright and pretty,
Watching cartoons like hello kitty,
9 is a small age
The world was my stage
I knew so much good in the world and he,
was the first bad thing that touched me.

Then I was 17, hiding a hideous secret
My view of the world was already contorted
He touched me in places I never knew existed
And he planted shame in me,
hurt and guilty,
And it followed me till I moved out for university,
And then I thought perhaps I'd finally be free
I thought the place, people and future would change
Would people think I'm crazy, will they think I'm deranged?

But the prey remained the same
And yet still nobody came
Only changing in faces,
I was still facing the dangers
It was a different person,
A different hand
I couldn't get away no matter how far I ran
And though it was a different stance,
It felt like I was in a trance.

So when I turned 27 and took up a new job
I thought I would forget,
And the past would be robbed
It paid well,
The future was spelled
All I had to do was be professional
In that I could see the approach rational,
But I didn't know professional included
Skirts and slits till mid thigh,
And heels sky high,
And his hand would touch for easy access
But I still needed money for paying the taxes
It was another chapter.
A greater unease.
In my head just begging them to,
"Stop!"
And
"No!"
It is a sentence,
It fell on deaf ears,
And I was left in tears.

As I left for another place corporate
Another place I ran to,
another state,
My profession demanded so,
But this time it was good life,
And good people,
I really thrived
I was thankful,
Grateful,
So now was a sequence in travel,
I escaped from the gravel
Where I was unravelled
To determine the level of my sexuality
To determine how I should be
"babe, sugar, sexy, whore,"
Words that hit me right at the core.
All tested in my reality
To open their eyes,
Make them see
That I did not want to live,
My bones have all gone stiff.
And it haunted me another day to just
Pass through the same routine
The way life had always been.

So I changed my entire living
At least I was still breathing
And when I was 44,
Old, waiting at the door
With 4 children and a husband now
I had taken a vow,
To never let my girls go through all of that
Ensure that the best people they meet,
But I did not think of my boys whereabouts,
Though I had thoughts and I had doubts.
And when I learned that girls nor boys were safe
I finally took a chance to say:

That It does not matter if it was you or I
And it really is okay to cry
Because now everyone is a victim
Everything is never as it seems,
A tragic memory we survived
A clear conclusion we derived,
And it's not just the outer world that can bear the harm done,
Sometimes we are even born to one,
The family that swore to protect
But did not reject
The advances of sexual instinct,
As painful as a bee sting
So Please don't ask now When or How or Who,
When all of us carry the hashtag of #Metoo.
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Thank you portiapearls for this collab, it was really fun and I like how we both took the lead at different parts of the poem. Thank you all for reading too, and do check her out, she's awesome :)