One Shot's / Other stuff

My most recent entry.

No one would like me if i just flat out said what i felt was right. Everyone hates the truth so much that they are willing to fight you and argue and try and beat their lies and cover up's into you just so they can avoid it.

Why do we only learn to listen to and accept the truth after the fact? After we've been dragged to our breaking point and discover that we can only take so much. Why must it always be a "i have to experience it for myself" situation?

Why do people ask for my humble honest opinion or advice or help then completely toss the shit A-side?

I'm not doing this shit for my entertainment. I do it because i care but you seem to take that for granted. I seem to care more about your situation than you. I can't even tell it to you because when I'm asked about it I get so frustrated and choked up that i can't even get my words out.

What's wrong with you? Why do you enjoy making yourself suffer on repeat. Why can't you just get a grip on reality?

Why must i fucking baby you ever step of the way as if you can't figure out things on your own? You act as if i don't have my own burdens to deal with.

But you know what maybe that's my fault. It's my fault because i don't believe that bestfriends turn their backs on one another when they need help.

But in this relationship it seems like im the only that even considers us to be friends. Of course you say that we are but you don't even believe it like i do. You never have.

Sometimes i wonder if you're the only one to blame for that. You swear that friendships are based of of this materialistic fabricated bullshit.

I hate this. I don't want to be that dumb ass with that one sided love anymore. I know that when this shit breaks it's not going to break even. But I've lived through it before and i will again.

One day i will finally take a stand and pry myself away from these shackles i foolishly let you put me in. One day when I'm no longer weak or scared of having my heart broken once again.

And believe me when i do I'll be able to take in that breath of fresh air like i once did before. I'll b able to rub my sore wrist and ankles in relief and I'll be a peace again. But when that happens i won't be foolish enough to let anyone put me back into the same or similar situation.

Not you and not anybody. I won't be that idiot again who knows how to love so much it hurts.

  The point is, learn not to take other's for granted.