Life is Hell

Chapter Five - Not Everything Can Be Fixed

"Why don't you check the cars over there and I'll check those ones" Chloe suggested and didn't even wait for an answer and just went ahead. I looked at her for a second before looking through the hoods of the cars. "Found one!" She yelled after a while. I hurried over to her and helped her lift it out of the car, although I wasn't much help since I was pretty weak, side effect from not eating. She ended up carrying it over to the car and placed it inside it and started connecting some cables.

"I had no idea you could do something like that" I said, kind of impressed. "There is a lot you don't know about me little sister" She said. "Likewise" I replied, looking inside of the car. "Well, I'm going to start looking for things to fix the inside of that dirty old thing" I said. "Cool" She replied and I walked off. Well, I needed something to fix the hole in the bottom, the seats and the light.

I started walking around until I found some ugly beach towel that was big enough to cover the whole seat. I looked around and found an old terrarium and it had a lighting bulb inside of it. I took it out and held onto it, making sure not to drop it and brought it back to the truck and placed all the things in their place. Lastly I had to look for something to cover the hole in the bottom. I pushed myself out of the truck and started looking for something. In the end I found an old golf mat. I kicked of the little red flag and picked it up. I started walking around until I saw a little bubblehead lying on the ground. It was a man with a microphone. He was cute. I picked him up and took him to the car with me and placed the mat on the ground and then presented Mister Bubblehead to Chloe "A inauguration gift from yours truly" I said and presented her the little man.

"I like it" She said and placed him inside the car, before she climbed in. "Come on!" She said and I walked around the car and got in on the other side. "What happened between us?" She suddenly asked. "What?" I asked her caught off guard. "We used to be so close, why aren't we anymore?" She asked. "Dad's death" I said "We didn't survive that. I guess he was the kind of our glue, that kept us together" I said. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you after his death" Chloe apologized. "Don't. I wasn't there for you either" I told her. "Yeah, but you locked yourself away and pushed them away. If I would have been there for you I could have stopped that" She said. "Maybe if I hadn't pushed you away, you wouldn't have acted out so much. I didn't only lose my dad that day. I lost my best friend as well" I said and looked at her.

"I just wish I could fix this, you know? Fix you" She said and I sighed "Not everything can be fixed" I said to her "Dad's death made me numb, I wasn't hungry anymore and that's what drove me into this condition. The depression mom won't accept I'm suffering from, the eating disorder no one sees. All I have eaten in the last few days were one pancake plus a bite from another one" I said. "So you didn't eat breakfast this morning. I could have sworn to have seen you eat something" She said. "No, I picked a fight before I was able to eat something" I said. "That seems to be your way to get out of everything, does it?" She asked and I sighed as she put on a cigarette for herself. "What can I say, I just really don't like to eat" I told her.

"It's not poison, you know?" She asked. "Tell me something, would you eat when you aren't hungry?" "Probably not" She replied. "That's exactly it, I don't have the hunger feeling anymore. I haven't had it for a while now. Why should I eat, when I don't have to?" "Because it's not healthy to starve yourself!" She said. "I know, but it's torture to eat for me, so I don't" I explained.

"Is it possible for us to go back to the way it was?" She asked. "No" I replied "But we can try to get somewhere near that. We can try to be closer again" I said, causing her to smile. I looked out the window of the car when I saw someone walk closer "Seems like this is my cue to leave" I said. "What are you talking about?" She asked confused. "Don't you think I haven't seen the way you look at Rachel, by the way, I'm totally shipping it" I said, climbed out of the truck and walked off, exploring the junkyard a little more. I didn't want to interrupted on their time together or interrupt the conversation they were having.

I ended up lying down in the dirt somewhere, my phone next to playing some music and I guess I fell asleep because the next thing I remember was hearing Chloe talking to someone and that someone wasn't Rachel. I sat up and grabbed my phone to turn the music off. I got up and cleaned off, then walked towards the direction I heard the voices come from. Why did the second voice sound so familiar?

I got closer to see Chloe was talking to Frank. Wait what? They know each other?

"Clare, leave please" Chloe said, being the protective sister she always used to be. "Clare?" Frank asked surprised as he saw me. "Frank?" I asked confused. "Chloe?" I asked turning over to her. "Wait, what's going on here?" Chloe asked. "You two know each other?" I asked. "The better question is you two know each other?" Chloe asked. "How do you two know each other. You are like the complete opposite" Frank asked. Okay, this was just getting ridiculous.

"Frank is the reason I didn't kill myself yesterday and I actually ate something more than just one bite and Chloe is my sister" I told them to clear out all this confusion. "You were with him while skipping school?!" Chloe asked, still not being relaxed. "Frank saved me yesterday, what's the problem?" "He's a drug dealer Clare" Chloe said. What?! I was shocked, but to be honest, I wasn't scared. Not at all. I maybe should be scared, but I actually wasn't. "Well that explains how you two know each other" was all I was able to say.

"You do your job Chloe and I'll make sure Clare eats something" Frank said, not taking his eyes off of me. "But-!" Chloe said, but didn't finish. "I will be fine Chloe, Frank had the chance to hurt me yesterday and he didn't. Doesn't that say a lot about him?" I asked, defending him. "Do I at least get a ride to Blackhell?" She asked and Frank agreed. "Wait, this isn't what you were wearing this morning! What is that?" I asked Chloe, first time noticing her different appearance. "I changed, big thing" She said and walked away. I hesitated a second, but then looked at the little house that was here and went inside. It looked like Chloe was planning on staying here for longer and the bag of clothes looked a lot like the bag Rachel had with her earlier. Was Chloe planning on running away?

"Clare!" I heard Frank call and followed him to the RV. Chloe was sitting on the passenger seat, so I took the bench at the table that Frank had managed to make a dump once again in just one day. He entered the RV and placed a plate of beans in front of me. "Gross!" I said. Just the smell made me nauseous. "Do you want to kill me or help me?" I asked. "Just eat it" Frank said. "Well, you're doing a really good job at the first one" I said and looked closer at the beans. If I had anything in my stomach before, it would be empty now. "No thank you, I'd rather eat dog food" I said.

"Then check the fridge" Frank gave in and started the RV. While he explained to Chloe what she had to do, I looked through the fridge with the old food. "Something that doesn't have a fur yet?" I asked him. "God damn it Clare, I can't afford to buy you food every day!" He snapped, pausing his conversation with my sister. "You don't have to, I have money. Not much, but enough" I said and sat down on the bench again, just watching the trees pass by.

We then arrived at Blackhell and Chloe got out. Right after the door closed, he started the RV back up and drove into town. "How about we go some grocery shopping? The least I can do since you are forcing me to eat" I said with a smile, while crawling Pompidou behind his ear. He loved it. "Are you being serious?" He asked. "If I eat, at least something that doesn't kill me. Then I rather eat nothing, does the  same job!"